Behavioural Night Wakings in Young Children |
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Most children will need the same conditions that were present at sleep onset (bedtime) to be re-established when they wake at night in order to return to sleep. In these circumstances a child may wake up visibly upset at night because she has fallen asleep under one condition (such as while feeding or with a parent in the room) and woken up in a different condition (e.g., alone in a crib or bed). This is akin to us (an adult) falling asleep in the comfort of our bed and waking up on the couch. We would not be happy!
These “behavioural” wakings can be ruled out (or in) as the cause of night wakings by reviewing the way in which your child is falling asleep at night and how he is being responded to when he wakes. Also reviewing the presentation and symptoms of other causes of night wakings such as sleep terrors and nightmares can be helpful. For more information see: Sleep Terrors and Nightmares: How Can You Tell?
If poor learned sleep associations are determined to be the cause of your child’s sleep disturbances, sleep training is often helpful (see below for recommended readings). However, note that sleep training methods are not recommended until a child is 4 months of age (full-term) and healthy.
Discussing your concerns with your child’s physician or another health professional with training in the area of parenting issues regarding children’s sleep, may also be helpful in developing an appropriate treatment plan to address these problems.
Recommended Readings for sleep training:
The Sleepeasy Solution: The Exhausted Parent’s Guide to Getting Your Child to Sleep – from Birth to Age 5. (Jennifer Waldburger & Jill Spivak, 2007)
Sleeping Through the Night: How Infants, Toddlers, and Their Parents Can Get a Good Night's Sleep (Revised Edition) (Jodi A. Mindell, 2005)
About the Author
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Dr. Nicky Cohen
Dr. Nicky Cohen, a Clinical Psychologist, welcomes questions on parenting your infant, toddler and preschooler to sleep. Learn more about Dr. Nicky Cohen
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Simona | April 9, 2009 at 7:32 pm - §
Hi Nicky, my daugther is 21 month old, she just started sleeping in her own bed, before then she use to sleep with us and never had a problem waking up at night, now that she slpeeps in her bed she wakes up twice at night and gets up very early in morning wanting to sleep with us. It is very hard for me, cause i am pregnant and deu in 7 weeks waking up for her more then one's at night is very exhosting job, is she ever will stop waking up at night, and what should i do?? Please help, Thank you!
Diane | April 14, 2009 at 12:32 pm - §
My daughter just turn 2 in March. Some nights she will sleep till 4 or later before coming in to our room. Some nights she comes in at 12, and will not stay in her bed, even after she has been asleep and returned to her bed. She also will not go to sleep unless she is cuddled. How do I stop this habit with her? Thanks
Cynthia | May 25, 2009 at 2:36 pm - §
My daughter is 15 months she has never sleep the entire night without waking us up or asking for her milk, now she sleeps with us and even the naps she does not want to sleep in her bed. She stills wake up for milk, what can we do? (she usually falls asleep with her milk, she does not like the pacifier)thank you
Jennifer | July 2, 2009 at 1:53 am - §
Hi. My daughter is 21 months old. She has been an okay sleeper through the night until about 6 weeks ago. We moved her into a big girl bed and room (I am due any day with our next baby). She started out okay but then was waking up many time during the night - no crying just wandering into our room. She would go back to bed if we sat with her for a few minutes. The she began waking up screaming....found out she had an ear infection....that was treated and we went back to wandering. In the past few nights, she gets up around 3:00 AM and wants to play. Around 6:00 AM we are caving and bringing her into our bed...desperate....but earlier in the night she does not want to come. We are getting desperate with the new baby anytime...any suggestions??
Chriten Wilson | August 6, 2009 at 10:24 pm - §
Hi Nicky,My son is 10.5 months old and has been a fairly good sleeper for the last 6 months or so. He naps well during the day and goes to bed well at night. His bedtime routine has been consistent since day 1 and he has always been put to bed awake so has no issues falling asleep on his own. That said, I've yet been able to get my son to sleep through the night. He wakes consistently about 11pm and again at 3am. At first, I went to him and fed him as it was the only time he'd actually nurse off me. He would feed and go right back to sleep when I put him down. My doctor states I don't need to feed him and I'd really like to get more rest myself so we've resorted to my husband going in to calm him when he wakes. He can usually get my son back to sleep on the first waking by spekaing to him softly and keeping him in the crib while comforting him, however, on the second night waking, he usually won't settle at all unless he's either fed or I attend to him. One other thing, when my son wakes he is extremely upset right away, there is no buildup of him crying, he simply goes to the extreme right away. We've tried the comfort, leave the room, let him cry 5 minutes, go back, comfort leave the room, let him cry 10 minutes etc etc etc method and nothing seems to work. I know he's capable of going to sleep on his own as he does during the day and at bedtime, but I'm now at a total loss as to what to do to get him to sleep through the night. I'm also afraid that if he really is hungry and we don't feed him, we're harming him somehow.... can you please help???
Stephanie | November 18, 2010 at 8:54 am - §
My daughter is almost 2.5. She has never had a problem sleeping until after my son was born when she was 18 months old. We transitioned her from her crib to a big bed and its been a nightime battle ever since. She will wake up 6-7 times a night crying at her doorway (I have a baby gate in place) until I come and tuck her back in and reasure her. I have probably helped her create some bad habits because I go to her as soon as I hear her cry partially because I dont want her to wake my son (which Im not so worried about now that he is older) and also I dont know if she is genuinely scared and in need of me! I know she is not having nightterrors, we definitly ruled that out. What do I do??? We are a tired and crabby household!
Grace | July 5, 2011 at 6:27 pm - §
Hi, my son is 2.5yrs old and we did some sleep training with him when he was 1.5yrs but we had our second son and we reverted back to sleeping with him b/c we didn't want him to wake his baby brother. He has a bottle of milk at night, which we have been trying to ween (brushes his teeth) and then my husband (or me, but usually my husband b/c I am busy with our second) lies in bed next to him until he falls asleep. How do we change this without disturbing his brother? Is it even possible? His bed time is between 8-8:30pm and usually wakes at 6:30am. But sometimes it is 6am or even earlier and it is difficult to get him back to sleep, we even use bottle of milk to help. Naps are ok, he falls asleep on the sofa while playing/watching tv (but i guess that's an aid as well. We just don't want to have to lay with him to sleep anymore and possibly not have him wake b/f 6:30am.