Breastfeeding in Public |
Breastfeeding is best for baby. Breastfed babies are healthier and have fewer allergies and illnesses. Breastmilk is also easily digested, convenient and free! Not only is breastfeeding beneficial to baby, but it is also beneficial to mothers. It possibly reduces the chance of breast cancer and is a wonderful bonding experience. These benefits of breastfeeding are proven facts that I don't think anyone would dispute. So why is it that although people know the importance of breastfeeding, some deem it unacceptable for a mother to nurse her baby in public? New mothers are often reluctant to nurse in public because they fear nasty looks or worse, being asked to leave a public place. This is unfair. Nursing mothers should not have to hide behind closed doors or become prisoners of mall bathrooms or changing rooms! I, too, felt hesitant about feeding my baby while in public. As a new mom, the very natural act of feeding my baby became an issue when in public. I would like to share these experiences with you.
From the day I found out that I was pregnant I knew that I would like to breastfeed. I had always known that breast milk was best for baby and after talking to my doctor and attending prenatal classes I was even more convinced. Immediately after the birth of my son I asked the nurse to help me with my first nursing session. My newborn son latched on and started nursing contentedly. "Wow" I thought, "this is easier than I thought!" But unfortunately, our second nursing session did not go as smoothly. Neither did our third, fourth and so on. It took a lot of work and encouragement from the nurses, but after a lot of perseverance, my son and I had succeeded in becoming a happy, nursing duo! I thought that the hardest part of breastfeeding was behind me, until I thought about nursing in public!
After the first several weeks of parenthood, my husband and I decided it was time to go out for a meal and show our little bundle off. I couldn't help but think about what I would do if my baby was hungry. I personally had never seen women nurse in public and was afraid of what kind of looks I would attract if I were to do so. I had heard stories of women being asked to leave public places because they were breastfeeding and feared that this kind of thing could happen to me. In fact, every time we went to a restaurant or out for coffee, I found myself under a small amount of stress. I wasn't really enjoying myself because I was always thinking "What if he wakes up and needs to be fed?" I even started to scope out tables or booths hidden away in corners of restaurants. On some occasions my baby would be crying from hunger and instead of feeding him I would wander around looking for a more "appropriate" place. After a couple of months of this I decided that I would no longer let him go hungry because I feared negative reaction from the public eye. It was time to stand up for my child and myself. I refused to become a hermit merely because I have chosen to do what is best for baby by breastfeeding.
I started to nurse in public more often. My baby is my number one priority and if he is hungry he deserves to be fed. It is a shame that nursing moms are criticised when they nurse their babies in public. I wish it was commonplace and that nobody would look twice at a mother feeding her baby. But this is not the case, as I found out when having lunch with my sister one afternoon. While nursing my baby, I received disapproving looks from a group of women at another table. They didn't just look once, and turn away in disgust, never to look again. Instead they kept glancing over throughout their whole meal. But I can't let these things discourage me. Nursing in public will never be commonplace if women always feel that they have to do it in private.
Although I feel I have the right to breastfeed my baby anywhere, I am still sometimes reluctant to nurse in certain settings and instead will find a more secluded area. Fortunately, some malls now have "nursing rooms". These rooms are great but I think they should be provided, not as a place that nursing mothers should go, but a place they can go if they feel more comfortable there. Sometimes I prefer to nurse somewhere more private but I believe that is a decision for me, and me alone, to make. If I am in a restaurant I will decide if I will be comfortable nursing there, not if the people around me will be comfortable with it. After all, they don't have to watch. Breastfeeding is not a spectator sport - not that you can see the "offending" body part anyway!
What I find most frustrating, is that from the moment you announce your pregnancy, you are told by doctors, nurses and others that breastfeeding is the best thing you can do for your baby - but when it comes to actually doing it in public, it is unacceptable. I feel that nursing moms should be made to feel comfortable and welcome when nursing their babies, under any circumstance. It should be viewed as a child welfare issue. It is the innocent babies that are "let down" (no pun intended to all you nursing moms!) by being deprived of their nourishment. Why should they be denied their breakfast, lunch or dinner just because others are uncomfortable with the way in which they are fed? Why should they suffer because others make their mom feel unwelcome and uncomfortable?
Breastfeeding is a big part of my life now. Not only do I feel that I have the right to feed my baby when he is hungry, but more importantly he has the right to eat when he is hungry, regardless of his surroundings. Hopefully, in the near future, nursing moms will be able to feed their babies in public without fear of nasty looks, or being asked to leave. Let's hope, for our children's sake, that people will soon realise that breastfeeding is a very important and natural process.
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Amber | November 6, 2008 at 2:35 pm - §
I completely agree. I just had my second child a couple of months ago and I too am breastfeeding. Fortunatly though I have been cursed with oversupply. I have enough milk to feed ten babies probably, so because of this, I am forced to pump before many feeding just so my baby won't choke. I then use this milk when I go out in public, and my baby doesn't seem to mind switching between bottle and breast. I do feel however, that a woman should be able to feed her baby in public and have it be just as acceptable as bottle feeding.
Gina | December 2, 2008 at 3:51 pm - §
I breastfeed in public, but I wear a privacy cape. usually I time my nursings so I don't have to do it in public. I am still against exposing the 'boob' in public. I agree breastfeeding is every mothers right but still she should keep it a little private.
Sonia | December 12, 2008 at 3:52 pm - §
My daughter was born in California and I feel that the West coast is more accepting to breastfeeding in general? Now that we are back in East Canada to stay and expecting twins, I must say am a little nervous about reactions. I plan on nursing and yes will do it in public if need be. However I tend to be more on the private side of it.
karn | December 20, 2008 at 5:07 pm - §
No way. Breastfeeding is a private moment. It should be kept private. I breastfed both of my children and never in public. My children were schedule fed babies (not on demand) - which is pediatrician recommended as it makes the baby feel more secure since they know when they will be fed. They were on schedules by 3 weeks old. I knew exactly when they ate every feeding every day. I would feed my child and then we would embark upon our outing. I never had to worry about feeding in public nor would I have done so. When they were feeding every 2 hours I only was out for 1.5 hours. I did feed in a car twice when I was not able to make it home. Why do it in public? There is no need or reason.
Stephanie Reid | January 5, 2009 at 9:42 pm - §
My daughter just turned six months and I have sucessfully breastfed her from day one and I plan on continuing for her first year. I am supportive of breastfeeding in public as long as it is done in a private manner. Nothing is tackier or more rude than wipping out a boob and exposing yourself unessecarily! It is too easy to grab a blanket and cover yourself and baby. It makes everyone around a lot more comfortable, especially the poor daddies who have to sit by awekwardly! I think breastfeeding in public would be more accepted if there wasnt such a threat of indecent exposure from those exibitionist-type mommies-weird? I agree.
lorn | January 20, 2009 at 4:46 pm - §
I breastfed my sons from birth. I am not an exhibitionist but breastfed in public. Breastfeeding in public can be done discreetly. I rarely used a "cape" or blanket but also never whipped out my boob for all to see. I would cover up if the situation required it (i.e. I would cover up during a funeral service). I was never asked to cover up or to leave a public area.Breast is best for baby and women have to right to choose how and when they feed their babies. Funny that some think breastfeeding in public is rude/gross but men can go around topless and some with bigger boobs than women.As for scheduled feedings, to each their own, but to be clear: it is NOT paediatrician recommended; it was years ago.
nancy g | January 20, 2009 at 6:52 pm - §
Before becoming a mother I thought that I would not feel comfortable feeding in public, and then my son was born. At first I tried to time things right or only feed in private but found that I was really missing out on things that are important in my life. I always ensure when out we cover with a blanket, but my son 's needs are my top priority, and if he is hungry I will feed him. I once had to feed him in line at the grocery store (he was in a front pack), I don't think many people even noticed. I have come to learn that a discreetly fed baby draws far less attention than a baby who is screaming in hunger. I do think that supportive partners and family and friends ease the discomfort when feeding in public.
Daniarnold | January 23, 2009 at 11:08 am - §
Breastfeeding in public is a protected Human Right in Canada. It isn't up to anyone else to decide if a woman should nurse in private, or under a cape or a blanket or in a bathroom: It's a Basic Human Right for a Mother to breastfeed her child Any time, Any place!! If someone isn't comfortable seeing a woman feed her child, there is this very easy way of dealing with it: Don't Look! Very VERY simple, and it takes no effort at all to achieve it- just flex your neck muscles and turn your head in the opposite direction. Wella! now you can't see the mother breastfeeding her child and therefore you no longer have to complain about being be offended!!
Anna | January 23, 2009 at 11:15 pm - §
I am always surprised to hear breastfeeding mothers comment that BF should be a private affair. Really, it's a view imposed by society. If we grew up seeing BF mothers everywhere we would have no issues with it. Breast or bottle fed babies deserve to be fed wherever, whenever.I also surprised at the comment that BF babies should be scheduled, this is not recommended and contrary to most literature on BF. Lucky you were able to keep up your supply. Scheduling success is due to a babies temperament and not recommended by most pediatricians. My son would have been a mess had I scheduled him. My daughter, on the other hand, probably would have been fine but I chose to feed her when she was hungry, (wherever I was) and she did develop a predictable rhythm on her own. BF is not about exhibitionism or sexuality, the only reason God gave us breasts is to feed babies. Cover up, don't cover up or show it off - does it matter - it benefits the baby. My children are older and when the see a baby BF they accept it as a natural part of life.
janeth | January 25, 2009 at 3:03 pm - §
I do find myself familiar with your experience I have felt the same looks and felt uncomfortable with people looking at me. The problem is I could work hard and try to feed my baby in public but she doesn' like any covers or ponchos when she is feeding and yes breastfeeding it is still in the unexpected side of people staring at breast. If I will be with my boyfriend/husband and there is a woman breastfeeding in public I will feel uncomfortable or bad is He looks at her. So the thing is Yes we should breastfeed in public but should we try to cover a little bit??Jan
Angie | January 26, 2009 at 11:43 am - §
I took the sling to restaurants so the only one who could actually see anything was the waiter. It made me insane when my girls were babies the way people without kids would talk about feeding them as if they were less than equals. My personal favourite was "feed them in the bathroom". I always replied, "Is that where you eat your dinner?". I would try putting a receiving blanket over them, but that's disrespectful too. I don't like to eat with a blanket tenting my head! I ended up holding the blanket up in front of us. If you want to stand over me and look, that's your problem if you're offended!
Sarah | January 26, 2009 at 12:17 pm - §
It's about time we all started recognising breastfeeding for what it is...FEEDING!! When I eat, I do not lock myself in a room alone in my meal and bond with it in some private magical moment...I just eat my food like a regular person. Babies are regular people too and deserve the same rights as the rest of us.It's also time we recognosed breasts for what they are. They are speciafically designed to make milk and feed babies. They are not designed to turn on men and sell cars although that is all society seems to think they are good for. If it wasn't for the objectification of women's bodies there would be NO reason to be offended by breastfeeding because we wouldn't see breasts as a sexual object. We need to take back our breasts!!!I also second everything Dani said!!!!!
trish in canada | January 26, 2009 at 12:20 pm - §
i have 3 boys 16,10 and 3 I have nursed all ofmy kids my oldest till he was 3 months and that was hard work my second o nursed untl he was 13months and i quite due to family and social prsure and i nursed in public whenever needed my 3rd child is 3 1/2 almost 4 and still nursing strong despit the presurres to STOP he is slowley weening himself and YES i still Breastfeed in public this is the way god intended r he would not have made us this way BF as long as you produce milk is best they will not require you to go to school at lunch and BF them they will eat there baged lunch like all the other kids but when you are out and money is tight and your appoinments have run long you will be thankfull your still BF I know i am
Lfaccio | January 26, 2009 at 5:08 pm - §
I've breastfed my 3 children well into toddlerhood (and plan to breastfeed number 4) and have done them all in public. I agree that a mom needs to be able to feed her baby wherever she is and however she feels comfortable. But I also think its important to respect the people around us and be as discreet as we can.
laura hagen | January 26, 2009 at 9:27 pm - §
Unfortunately I can see from some of the comments that this was indeed an article that needed to be written. Feeding a baby is not sexual or obscene. It is natural and I will never understand the disapproving looks that mother's receive. I hope my daughters will be able to breastfeed their babies without feeling like they need to cover up.
Danielle | January 28, 2009 at 9:58 pm - §
Unfortunetly, there are always those few people that find that whipping out the boob at the hockey game is totally appropriate and others that think nursing a 7 year old is okay too. They make things tougher for the rest of us but im sure if you are using your descretion and or using a privacy cape, or a blanket then there shouldn't be a problem.
Patricia | January 29, 2009 at 9:05 am - §
Breastfeeding is wonderful. I miss it all the time. I breastfed in public and did not get any complaints from anyone. I did not flash my breasts for all to see, but neither did I make my child wait until I was somewhere more private to nurse them. I was as discreet as possible, but not at the expense of my child. I breastfed my oldest from the time he was born, during my pregnancy with our second son and both of them together. I weaned each boy just before they went off to preschool. I don't regret one single minute and I would do it the same again if I were to have any more children. My sons are now 11 and 9 and both are healthy, happy boys. Breastfeeding is natural and beautiful.
Joanna | January 29, 2009 at 4:15 pm - §
People (especially mothers) who think whipping out the boob in public should relax! I breastfed my little one everythere and at all times. I used a poncho or nursing cape to cover up because it also made me more comfortable. Once my little one got bigger though, more aware and more active, it was more difficult to hide her under the cape. Women who 'whip' out the boob don't do it because they want to be exhibitionists. For crying out loud, we need to feed our babies! Anytime, anywhere.
Janet | January 29, 2009 at 7:02 pm - §
I just think it is funny that as women there are some people still feeling that exposing a partial breast in public is offending. I see more breast on MTV and even prime time than I have with a breastfeeding mom. It is not a sexual thing, it is a survival thing. Those with problems seeing it, can look away.
Stacey | January 30, 2009 at 12:46 pm - §
I am shocked that so many women are focussing on the idea that we need to be "discreet" when breastfeeding. I belive it is the responsibility of those around us breastfeeding moms to be discreet. Just because I take out my breast or even "whip out my boob" in public to feed my baby does not mean everyone around me should oggle me. When I was pregnant I told all of my family and friends to prepare temselves because I intended to breastfeed in front of them and out in public. When my baby was born my breasts were no longer to be considered sexual objects, but tools for nourishing my child in the best and most natural and. surprise, normal, way possible. I am offended by everyone who says breastfeeding mothers need to be discreet. If you can't be around a naked breast without oggling or being grossed out or offended then I say GROW UP!! Sorry if I sound angry, but I am, like new moms need this kind of stress on top of everything else they're going through.
CD Mastering | January 30, 2009 at 1:12 pm - §
Breastfeeding in public tends to be controversial. However, if a bottle-fed baby can have her dinner in public, why shouldn't a breastfed baby have the same rights? I have certainly never seen a public restroom that I would like to feed my baby in! And I'm certainly not going to stay cooped up at home all the time because I'm afraid that my baby will get hungry while we're gone.
Darlene | February 2, 2009 at 3:00 am - §
I am shaking my head at some of the comments. I am still breast feeding twins at age two and have always fed on demand, where ever, when ever. I imagine all those who get upset at the site of it turn their televisions off when someone bares some skin or have canceled subscriptions to fashion magazines because of the often naked, near nude content...yeah right. Fortunately for the hyper sensitive we don't get out much so you won't have to see what may or may not be a breast...or two. Look beyond the woman breast feeding her baby at the table next to you and see other cultures around the world where breast feeding is what you do, not an option and hey, not an issue. Just don't get why this is problem for anyone. To wrap it up, I have been congratulated by all sorts of people from all walks of life for breast feeding my babies. We try not to make a big show of it. It is what it is, nourishment.
TwinMom | February 2, 2009 at 12:49 pm - §
I am all for breastfeeding and think it's fine to do it in public if you're comfortable, but covering up or at least trying to be discreet (ie/ find some place with a little less "traffic", not in the middle of a restaurant) is a better/more considerate way to go. I think most moms try to be discreet, but there will be always some who are "in your face" about it, either trying to get a rise out of people or just trying to push the cause. And as for breastfeeding older children (ie/ over the age of 2), there is NO need to do that in public.
sarah | February 2, 2009 at 1:01 pm - §
It's opinion pieces like this and then the rants of so many la leche league followers that turn new moms off breastfeeding. The pressure is just too much for a lot of women. I know this, I am a nurse.
christine | February 2, 2009 at 8:37 pm - §
IMO if you can breastfeed then that's great!But I don't buy into all this propaganda.This article is a prime example. I only breastfed my twins for 3 weeks and you couldn't find 2 kids who are closer to mom.Not only that but they have no allergies whatsoever, do very well in school,and hardly ever get sick.I agree with Sarah that a lot of this pro-breastfeeding propaganda does more damage to the cause than good. I don't even get why this is a relevant topic,other than for women to brag or argue with each other.
Robin | February 9, 2009 at 10:13 pm - §
When I was a baby "propaganda" came in the form of women being told that their babies didn't need breast milk. My sister constantly threw up cow's milk
Jacqui | February 13, 2009 at 10:11 am - §
I believe that breastfeeding is not only a legal right, but a choice that the majority of mothers make because it is the healthiest thing for their child. I breastfed my son and was the first one in my family to do so. I was constantly pressured to stop from both "sides" of the family, including "health professionals" in the family because NONE OF THEM breastfed any of their children. I was extremely lucky to have the support of my DH and pediatrician but it was a battle. My son (five now) weaned himself at 15 months (when I cried for weeks after because I had no idea that he would do that) and I am glad every time I look at him that I stuck it out. Six months ago (2008) my sister gave birth in an Ontario hospital where the tried to force her (by threats of CAS removing her child) to use formula - we were fortunate to be able to find the legal and lactation support we needed to avoid and she successfully has breastfed her son. These comments above amaze me (I am sure more will follow) that pro-breastfeeding is propaganda....even in the hospital where they were trying to force formula...she would have to sign a RELEASE acknowledging the potential harm that formula could cause her son - that said it all to me.I am all about choices - but if someone has chosen to breastfeed her child(ren), they have the same rights as a bottle fed baby to do it whenever the baby is hungry.
tammi | February 15, 2009 at 12:44 pm - §
i am pregnant with my first child, and plan to nurse wherever i am. i am also a public health nurse, a profession that encourages exclusivley breastfeeding for the first 6 months of life, and is recommended by thecanadian pediatric association. the only way for people to get used to seeing breastfeeding in public, is by more and more exposure. whether you cover up or not, that is a woman's right, and no one should fault anyone for how they nurse in public. I worked in the arctic for 4 1/2 hears; one of my inuit friends would nurse her 8 month old, who was sitting in the front of the grocery cart, with her shirt up slightly, while pushing the shopping cart around the store. not one person mage strange faces or became offended. this is because of hundreds of years of it being the way you fed your child. so, again, the only way people will get used to seeing it, and stop being offended, is by seeing it. that is why half naked women on tv and in magazines don't offend people, (but breastfeeding does), by seeing it everywhere you go. as more and more children are breastfed, they too will see it as normal, and not be grossed out when, as adults, they see it happening
Rob | February 17, 2009 at 2:34 pm - §
As a guy I thought I'd chime in here. I have seen a few mom's BF in public and have been so happy to see that (not in a sexual way, lol). My wife was unable to BF and I watched her struggle with it and cry over it. I'm more of a "natural" person and can't believe that anyone would say something, or threaten to call CAS over something as natural and time honoured as breastfeeding. I would freak out if I saw someone get kicked out of a public or private place for doing something so natural. When my wife had our kids there was a lactation nurse that came right away and tried to help her as much as she could. Not once did she give up and kept encouraging her to try, just so long as she was comfortable. So keep it up ladies, I have tons of respect for all you moms.
angela | May 6, 2009 at 3:14 pm - §
Hi Everyone! I use a nursing cover -- Cover ME.As a new mother, nursing in public was a nervous and uncomfortable experience and struggling to keep my daughter under the receiving blankets was a constant battle. Not to mention that the colourful bunny prints weren't exactly subtle... The Cover Me was the answer to all my problems. With the unique design, I didn't have to worry about the baby exposing us in public, and with the soft, breathable fabric, I knew she could safely stay under there for as long as she needed to. Because of its stylish look, I can breastfeed in a fancy restaurant (and have done so many times!) with no one even being aware of what I'm doing.