Children With Special Needs |
Many parents grew up during a time when children with special needs not only attended Special Education classrooms, but were also segregated from typical children in social situations. The result is that today, many adults tend to avoid people with special needs, they often look the other way when they see a person with a disability for fear of saying or doing the wrong thing. Mandatory inclusion is changing that; both educators and the general public are understanding the importance of including people with special needs in all aspects of life, and realize that an inclusive setting both academically and socially has far-reaching benefits for everyone, not just the child with special needs.
Children who have special needs are children first, they have the same interests, feelings, and dreams as their peers; and they have the right to be treated like everybody else. The only difference is that they need special adaptations or extra support in certain areas. Children today are far more aware of people with special needs than previous generations, but in terms of including their peers with special needs socially, more work needs to be done.
Beverley Doherty has been the Supervisor for Special Needs in District 6 for the past 14 years. She says children with special needs have the right to learn about the same kinds of things as all children and have the right to be included. "One way of making inclusion work better for kids with special needs is to educate typical children on ways to include them." She gives a number of suggestions on how parents can encourage their children to be more inclusive. "They can encourage their typical child to invite the child with special needs to eat lunch together or invite them to their parties. They can give them a call on the telephone, do homework together, or make sure they get a valentine [on Valentines Day]. They can also take the time to listen and share interests with a child who has special needs. A child with downs syndrome for instance may be more awkward in a game of catch, so their peers will need to learn skills in patience in order to include them, this is also a skill that can be taught by parents."
Judy MacKinnon is a busy mom of four. Her son Devin just turned 13 and faces many daily challenges because he has Spina Bifida. She finds his new school very accommodating and inclusive. One program he particularly enjoys is band, where both he and his aid are learning to play the clarinet together. But in spite of all of the advances in inclusion, there are still some activities that he has to be excluded from because of his physical challenges. "He's always welcome to go watch the other kids, but as parents it's hard to see your kid sitting on the sidelines and missing out on activities like skating and curling. In our family, including Devin in our activities is as natural as loving him, but in our society we still have a long ways to go to include these kids socially." She says.
MacKinnon finds fitting in and making new friends is one of the biggest challenges for children with special needs. "We've come across some great kids over the years, but as Devin grows older the invitations from friends grow less and less. One year we invited six kids to his birthday party, but none of them showed. Slowly, one by one, they all called to say they couldn't come, I'm a strong person, but it's really hard to hold that kind of disappointment in.".
She says there are many ways parents can teach their kids how to feel empathy so situations like Devin's birthday party don't happen. "They could request disabilities awareness programs through their local school. Or maybe spend time in a wheelchair or go blindfolded for a while to experience what it might be like to have a disability. My oldest son broke his ankle this year, and while he was in the cast he said although he thought he knew how his brother feels [using a walker and wheelchair], he really didn't. It wasn't until he lost his own mobility that he got a feeling of what it must be like."
Anne Redmond also has a 13-year-old son with special needs. She believes that many parents don't encourage their kids from socializing with kids with special needs because they fear getting into a difficult situation. She says "It is harder to have someone with special needs around, often they have medical requirements, and it's usually that sense of difference that keeps us from including them." She suggests some practical solutions to overcome such concerns, like contacting the parents to find out exactly what support their child requires during a visit, or in the case of birthday parties, invite a parent or an aid to accompany that child to the party.
"I think the fact that children are included in education makes our kids more accepting than our generation was, and there's no doubt that we've come eons, but we still have a ways to go. I remember another parent saying to me that 'you can never be sure what a kid with special needs will do', and I responded, 'you can never be sure what any kid will do'. We just get the wrong hang ups, keep in mind that we are all the same, and that we are all vulnerable. Through inclusion, we can learn about the other person and get around those hang ups." She says.
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