CPO Member Spotlight- TBMyLoveMyLife

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By CanadianParents.com Community

Welcome to CPO's Member Spotlight! Each month we'll profile someone new, we invite you to take a moment to learn about some of our active Community Members here each month! Get to know Melissa, also known as TBMyLoveMyLife. CPO posed a few questions for Melissa to answer and here are her responses:

Q: What brought you to CPO?

A: I used to be a member of another very large parenting forum. It was so large that a lot of not-so-nice people replied and I was getting tired of reading attack posts, and being attacked. I also wanted to be a member of a parenting forum I could relate to. I was very surprised that my posts were never attacked and decided that CPO was a much nicer forum that the other one.

Q: Any Favorite Boards?

A: definitely the "Childcare Providers" board because my dayhome is fairly new and I find that useful. I also love the "General" board and "Toddlers (age 1 to 2)" I was really excited when the previous Toddler & Preschooler board was split into two, because I had trouble relating to a lot of things posted before. I really appreciate the "Organization Club" "Green Living" and "Focus on Mom" boards as well.

Q: What are your hobbies and interests?

A: Honestly, one thing I'm very interested in now is bible study. I'm actually studying the bible instead of just reading it, and I'm learning so many interesting things that I didn't know before. Another thing I like is listening to Newfoundland Music. I really like spending time with my fiance. Almost every night at 8:30 we work out together, then shower, put ds to bed, and spend an hour having uninterrupted time together. Something else I love is playing with kids and toys. I'm a real big kid at heart. I remember when I was 'officially' too old for toys, I was upset and didn't think it was fair that I could no longer enjoy my toys that had given me so much joy over the years. Now I'm a childcare provider, so I get to play with toys, listen to kids music, read kids books, and goof around with other children who are the same age I feel inside! I cannot possibly imagine another job that fits better with my interests.

Q: How many children do you have?

A: We have one child Named Tyler Bruce (Bruce after his father). He turned two on October 11th.

Q: What's your parenting philosophy?

A: I strongly believe in the "3 P's" positive reimforcement, praise, and patience. I didn't know how important patience is when caring for young children until I became a childcare provider. I also find it really helpful to extend positive reinforcement whenever possible, and try to reduce attention for negative behaviour because the kids tend to concentrate more on displaying positive behaviour to receive praise. This helps the children to feel really good, reduce stress for myself, and to keep a positive atmosphere in my dayhome.

I also find this works especially good for one little girl in my care. For example, she was really interested in spiders, so we always talked about them in a positive way, I showed her pictures and gave her information about them, and we still sing the "itsy bitsy spider" before quiet time. She used to say things like, "Spiders bite because they're mean!" I then would explain, "Spiders don't bite unless they're scared, because we are soooo big and they are sooo tiny, and they don't want us to hurt them." A short while later her mother asked me if we talk about spiders and I told her what we were doing. She thanked me because she was always petrified of spiders but she isn't anymore. The funny thing is...I didn't even know she was afraid of spiders until her mother told me that day!

Q: What are you looking most forward to this spring?

A: Finally being able to take the kids outside for more than a few moments at a time. We're going to put up a bird feeder and some flowers in the backyard. I also can't wait to put up the slide/swing combo my son got for Christmas. Everyone will love that. Too bad I'm too big for it...oh well, I'm not too big for the swings at the playground!

Q: Is there anything else you'd like to share with the CPO Community?

A: My fiance Bruce and I are finally getting married on August 2nd this year, after having to post pone our wedding three times over five years. We're both from Newfoundland and moved to Calgary, AB in September, 2004. While there, Tyler was born in October 2005, and October 2006 we moved to Edmonton because Bruce's sisters and their families moved here from NL.

Shortly after giving birth to my son, I began to develop Post Partum Depression. I thought I could fight it on my own, but I was also displaying signs of postpartum psychosis. I couldn't fight it anymore when the psychosis became very bad one night so we went to the hospital. I was admitted and stayed there for two weeks. After that, my psychosis got better and eventually went away completely, but my PPD kept getting worse. I had to go back to the hospital again less than a year after my first visit. During this battle, there were numerous times I thought things were as good as they would ever be. I kept telling my fiance, "I don't have PPD anymore. I have accepted that I am just a different person. Why can't you?"

I ended up going back home to NL for a while and got help from a psychologist who was wonderful with using Congnative Behavioural Therapy (CBT) I was able to stop taking all of my medication in January 2007, and now things are completely back to normal. The medication caused me to have large blanks in my memory so that there are a lot of things I don't remember about ds as a baby. My fiance took a lot of pictures and videos during that time frame, and he recently told me it was because he worried something like that would happen. He also told me I am probably better off not remembering some of the things that happened when I had PPD because things got pretty bad at times. I still can't believe that things are back to normal and I am grateful everyday that I am better. Coupling my recent experience with my growing religious faith, I now have a better appreciation for life. This is the reason I called my dayhome "Precious Memories". I believe every life - including my own - is a precious gift deserving of the most wonderful memories possible and it is my goal to make that a reality for myself and anyone in my life whose hearts I am able to touch.

CPO thanks Melissa for sharing her touching story and we wish her all the best with her upcoming nuptials!