Early Childhood Sexual Development |
Many of the questions posed to the Sexual Health Experts at Canadian Parents Online are related to issues around childhood growth and development and what is considered normal behaviour for specific ages of children. As with most growth and development issues, the range of normal is significant and should not be considered absolute.
However, there are guidelines to help parents, teachers and child care workers identity what is OK and what might need further clarification.
Children exhibit sexual behaviour from a very early age. They will explore their own bodies including their genitals and may derive great pleasure with this activity. Many parents have witnessed a very young baby reaching for their genitals when their diapers are removed or when in the bath. Parents or caregivers response to this behaviour will influence the positive or negative attitudes that will develop towards their own bodies.. A common reaction of don‚t touch there, it‚s dirty sends a clear and negative message to a young child about his/her body.
As children grow to the approximate age of 3 to 5 years, they begin to question where babies come from. They may use magical thinking to explain reproduction. This age also brings curiosity about other‚s bodies and differences between the sexes. Masturbatiion usually increases unless limits with time and place are imposed on this behaviour. Sex play and exploration with peers is common. Also, the use of bathroom humour is very common. It is very important that children are taught the proper body part names, socially shared words for elimination and that babies are made by a father and mother together.
At around the age of 4 to 8 years, children‚s interests change to the how and why questions as opposed to the where focus of younger children. Magical thinking and curiosity continue with respect to sexual differences, pregnancy, birth and breastfeeding. Parents can expect children to question their own sexual behaviours. At this age, children develop strong same sex friendships and show an interest in male and female roles which are often stereotypical. Appropriate parental teaching should include a description of sexual intercourse in concrete language with literal examples. The vagina is a tunnel and the penis slides into the vagina to put the sperm there. Children will likely require repetition of this information on many occasions. Remember, they will take what they need from the information, digest it and come back to you with more questions. As a child of this age is a concrete thinker, intercourse may be seen to be a violent act with associated pain. Therefore, it is important to introduce the concept of love and pleasure when discussing sexual relationships and intercourse.
The primary role of parents during this early sexual education is to be available and askable. Tips to help you talk include: using humour, maintain a calm presentation, use simple and accurate terms, and do not teach anything that will need to be unlearned at a later date.
Your children are learning many different lessons everyday. As such, it is important as parents that your child‚s sexual development and education be provided in an accurate and loving manner. Use the resources available to you in your local library, school or health practitioner‚s office to guide your approach. You will be pleasantly rewarded as you observe your child‚s development.
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