Education - Real Boys

By Catherine Dougan and Dr. Ron Dougan

As seasoned psychologists, career planners, and educators we’ve counselled, taught, and coached several thousand students and their parents. We’ve also offered support and guidance to our own seven children, as they navigated the maze of occupational and educational alternatives.

As parents, we discovered (tripped over) many roadblocks when it came to advising our children. Often, emotion ran high and objectivity low. Our children seemed reluctant to take parental suggestions seriously! Yet researchers assure us that most students need and value their parents’ wisdom. How, then, do we best proceed?

Our work taught us one simple principle: students thrive when parents treat them as equals. To get through to your child, we encourage you to relinquish your typical parental role and learn a new perspective: the role of the consultant. Your student becomes your valued client. As a consultant, you shift to a position of equality in your parent/child relationship (and help your client to do the same). You listen more, talk less, and engage your client in a dialogue. On this new footing, creative and fruitful discussion can occur.

To help your client explore career options, you can start by asking yourself the following questions:

• How much does your client know about your work?
• Have you changed jobs/careers? Does your client know why?
• Do you discuss work at home with your client?
• How much do you enjoy your work?
• If you could choose, what would you choose to do now, and in the future?
• How do you feel about the probability of multiple career changes for your client? Then spend time on the following activities:
• Ask your client to describe in detail his “perfect career.”
• Invite her to come to your place of work and observe, participate, ask questions.
• Arrange for him to observe others at work and discuss his observations.
• Encourage her to look ahead twenty years and imagine what her work will be like.
• Talk about what you both feel is important about work. Is it job satisfaction? Money? Accomplishment?
• Identify ideal careers through books such as College Smarts or Career Smarts™, or by working with a career counsellor.* Your support can help your clients create a rewarding, meaningful post-secondary education which carries them in the direction of their dreams.

From the book College Smarts: The Survival and Success Guide for Canadian Students, by Catherine Dougan and Dr. Ron Dougan. The Dougans are psychologists, career counsellors for adults and students, and directors of The Career Institute of Calgary.