Effects of Bedwetting on the Child and Family

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• Bedwetting: How to Help Your Child

By Sara Dimerman

Most parents anticipate that their child will be dry throughout the night by a certain age, often dictated by the culture and family in which they live. Physiologically, most children are developmentally capable of remaining dry both during the day and night by the age of four or five (boys usually a little later than girls). If a child is still not able to remain dry by the age of six, most parents explore causes and options for treatment.

Aside from dealing with the physical or emotional causes of bedwetting and the stressors of regular night time bedwetting, there is the child's mental health that also needs to be acknowledged.

At around the age of seven or eight, children begin talking about sleepovers. For a child with enuresis, talk of this may spark anxiety. By this age, most enuretic children recognize that they are different to most of their peers and are embarrassed to admit to their bedwetting. They may withdraw from activities such as sleepovers at friends or camp. Their self esteem may also be affected depending on the messages they are receiving at home or imposing on themselves.

Parents may be frustrated and feel that their child is just not trying hard enough. Others may blame themselves and feel guilty. They may think that they have not implemented proper toilet training techniques. In this case, it is important that parents talk to a professional so that they can learn ways of talking to their child and helping themselves. They may also need to learn more about enuresis and its causes so that they do not feel as if they are to blame.

It's important that parents talk to their child about how he or she is feeling and to make sure that their actions and words do not make their child feel that bedwetting is their fault.

During a discussion about how their child feels, parents may tell their child things such as:

• There are many different reasons that children wet their beds and together, they will try to find out why their child is wetting theirs.
• That there are many children who wet their bed and that there are probably at least a couple of other children in his class that wet their beds too.
• That lots of kids feel angry at themselves for bedwetting and that others feel sad and guilty. Reinforce that bedwetting is not the child's fault.
• You might want to mention that bedwetting often runs in families and share personal experiences if they have any.
• Parents should tell their child that there are many different ways to help him overcome bedwetting and that together they will talk to a doctor or other professionals to find a solution.

Most importantly, parents should not punish their child for bedwetting. They should be supportive, encouraging and understanding of how their child is feeling. They should work as partners in exploring causes and options. That the above mentioned are all brief outlines of much more involved plans and each needs to be researched more thoroughly before implementing.