Everything Worth Knowing I Learned from my Kids

By Alison K. Trembley-Boucher

Through my vast experiences as a parent, I have gained knowledge and wisdom well beyond my years. Okay, I’ve only had kids for three years, but it SEEMS like a lot longer. I’m no expert, but life might have been easier if someone had told me these things before the doctor proclaimed, "It’s a boy!" My son is a real treasure, but I had to discover him out without a map, if you get my drift.

As a result, I have decided to condense my insights into the following brief list. I am sure it is incomplete and will be updated many times over the next few years, but I hope it helps those of you out there who are also staggering down the path of parenthood. Please remember that you are not alone, and are allowed to stop and ask for directions along the way. Enjoy.

Parents can plan ahead and make schedules to their hearts’ content, but it’s usually the kids who decide how much (or how little) gets accomplished today.

1. When you have children, silence is NOT golden. It usually means that the kids are up to no good.
2. When it comes to serving leftovers, if the dog won’t eat it, chances are nobody else will either.
3. It’s okay to wear stripes with plaids, shoes on the wrong feet, white after Labor Day and pajama tops as shirts. Please note, however, that this rule applies only to those under the age of about five who are allowed to dress themselves.
4. Turning into my mother is not the worst thing in the world after all.
5. Mommies and Daddies need lots of hugs and kisses too.
6. The best thing about a new toy is the package is comes in.
7. Blue window cleaner will get almost anything out of the living room rug. Credit for this discovery actually belongs to my Aunt Glenda, but my kids have repeatedly proven it to be true.
8. Contrary to popular belief, one’s head will not explode if you go too long without sleep and/or sex.
9. Almost everything tastes better with ketchup or cheese on it.
10. Whatever story I tell my parents about one of the rotten things my kid did, they can always top it with a story about me.
11. Whatever story I tell my parents about one of the great things my kid did, they cannot top it with a story about me.
12. In accordance with rules #11 and #12, parenting is apparently getting easier with each generation.
13. The world will not come to an end if my kid watches two hours of cartoons in the afternoon so that I can get a bit of quiet time.
14. Despite the fact that some days never seem to end, my kids are growing up way too fast.
15. As you are cleaning the red marker off the wall, trying to restyle the hair cut your toddler gave himself, etc., remember that these will always make wonderful stories to tell to his girl friends, his children, and so forth. And as old family photo albums can attest to, the story only gets better (and more embarrassing) if you take pictures too.
16. When you have a little kid with you, nobody looks at you funny if you talk in weird voices, play in the mud or sing silly songs.
17. Even when you ask your two year old for a kiss and he runs from the room screaming, "Nooooo!" he does, in fact, still love you.
18. And even though you can recite the words to his favorite book by heart, you cannot skip even the smallest part when reading it to him, as he knows it even better than you.
19. No matter how rotten a day I am having, it turns into the Best Day Ever when I am hugging my child.