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By Dorothy Nixon

Being a parent, these days, can make you feel like a fish.

A splish-splashing salmon, to be specific, forced to gamely swim upstream against the currents of society to guarantee the safe propagation of the species.

Lately, there have been a spate of studies, widely reported in the press, telling us how North American kids are getting fatter and fatter - and claiming it's mostly up to parents to do something about it.

I tell you, this kind of news puts more stress on my cardiovascular system than a daily dose of cheeseburger and fries.

What can I do, I wonder. I'm only one person. I didn't invent the car or the computer - or those delicious double-chunk-chocolate-chip cookies.

True, the researchers behind the most recently published studies don't directly blame parents for this so called "epidemic of childhood obesity." They point fingers at our sedentary modern lifestyle. But they do say that it is up to parents to get kids moving again, one family at a time.

I must admit, these social scientists serve up some convincing reasons for reversing the trend: Overweight kids suffer from poor self-esteem. Overweight kids become overweight adults, predisposed to heart disease and diabetes.

However, the solution isn't a simple matter of slapping a padlock on the fridge door, as my mother always threatened to do. Kids aren't eating more, anyway. They are just exercising less, much less. And dieting has never been the answer, as several Today's Parent articles have shown.

Obesity, (I simply hate that word. What exactly is "obese," compared to kinder, gentler cousins like chunky or chubby?) is a side effect of a technological society: We've moved indoors, en masse, and pulled up a soft, comfy chair in the process. Most of us would rather watch just about any sport, even one-armed alpine unicycle racing on cable, than participate in it.

Even would-be jocks (like my sons) can't help but be sidetracked (or, dare I say, seduced) by the siren call of TV, video games and online chat rooms.

Besides, It's costly to counteract this slothful societal trend: I've spent thousands of dollars outfitting my boys for tennis and skiing. You know that commercial? Tennis shoes: 100 dollars. Tennis whites: 80 dollars. Tennis racquet and lessons: 300 dollars. The look on your face when your son says he doesn't want to go to tennis anymore: PRICELESS

I can lead my sons to the courts, but I can't make them serve. And neither can I make society rewind to a time where free play and arduous physical activity were woven into the cloth of everyday life. A time before remote controls, microwaves, indoor plumbing and Internet. I can't even go back to the sixties, when girls skipped and boys rode bikes with no brakes.

"Why don't you come exercise to Sweatin to the Oldies with me?" I ask my 12-year-old son, who doesn't have gym this term. He just stares at me in horror.

I shouldn't have to put my sons through this kind of humiliation. They are average children, genetically-wired to move, jump and play play play 'til they drop.

But there's no one to play with most of the time - and when the neighbourhood kids do have some down time, they spend 10 minutes outside skateboarding and three hours inside playing Final Fantasy.

I read somewhere that male brains are designed to "hit the target" - which is why some boys can spend hours taking slap shots at a garbage can or tossing basketballs into a hoop. But for about a decade now they've had video games to gratify this primal urge. Modern boys don't have to budge a muscle to get a testosterone buzz.

The experts have a point when they say it's up to parents to act as role models in this regard. It sure wouldn't hurt us oldsters to get off our duffs, too. I have noticed, over the years, that the active couples I know have active kids.

But, if childhood obesity is as big a problem in North America as these researchers say, it's likely we have to do something more to help our kids - to help society- and to take some of the pressure off. We should be lobbying school boards and governments. We need to demand more gym classes and more money for subsidized sports programs in communities.

We need to do one more thing, as well: Let our kids engage in more free play. Unstructured, inexpensive, creative play beyond the toddler years, even if it entails some misguided bravura, a steep hill, and a bike with no brakes.

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