Foster Parents Are Special

By Veronica Renwick, Peel CAS Foster Parent

About two years ago, my husband Carl and I, along with our teenage son, decided to become foster parents. It was an easy decision because we love children. We were parents of a teenager, so how difficult could it be? We quickly became aware of the number of children, from newborns to teenagers, in need in Peel Region alone.

These children, for reasons such as abuse, neglect and other emotional problems, are not able to stay with their birth parents. Most of these children are brought to the attention of the Peel Children's Aid Society staff, who then meticulously and with great care match up each child with a foster family. This is done, of course, with the specific needs of each child in mind.

It can take several months before a foster family receives their first placement after thorough investigations, individual and family interviews and parenting training courses are completed.

Just before our first placement arrived, we were nervous and excited at the same time. I cleaned the whole house and made a big dinner. We were ready for our first foster child. The door bell rang and the big moment had arrived. He was here. With great anticipation, I opened the door. I reached out to shake his hand, introduce myself and my husband all at the same time. As the child started to cry, I looked at the case worker wondering what I had done wrong.

My new foster son did not care about the big meal that night or whether or not my house was spotless. He needed reassurance that everything was going to be fine, and he needed a hug. The hug was easy.

Fostering is often considered a difficult job and yet it is rewarding. It encompasses heartbreak and fulfillment, as well as attachment and separation. As a rule, foster parents open their hearts and homes to these children in need. Emotions are worn on sleeves. Relationships are formed that can last anywhere from weeks to years. As a result, attachment is inevitable and separation is painful. But every foster parent knows that the goal for each child is one of the following: to be returned home to birth parents after proper preparation, to be adopted by a carefully selected family, or to achieve independence by the age of 18. The resounding reward is when the Peel Children's Aid Society staff members work closely with the child and foster parents to decide the best plan of care for each child. As a result, heartbreak turns into fulfillment and separation is less painful.

Why fostering? To be a foster parent, one must have an unconditional love for children in general and needy ones in particular, a desire to see children kept safe, and a willingness to see that their basic needs are met. Even though fostering is a tough job, it is also a very special one. We, as foster parents, get the opportunity to meet children from different ethnic groups, cultures and sometimes countries. At times, we learn more than we teach. We also stand in the unique position of giving a helping hand in the areas of self-esteem and dignity.

To conclude, foster parents and their families do make a difference in the life of every single child who comes into their home, no matter the length of his or her stay. The Peel Children's Aid Society is always looked for new families to shine a light and make a difference in the life of the next child that comes into care. For more information, call the Peel CAS at 905-796-2121 ext. 366