How Not To Upstage Your Child Star

Ten Tips for Stage Moms and Dads

By Jesse Cutler

Let’s face it. Stage moms and dads have, over the years, gotten a bad rap. Some deserve the mommy/daddy-dearest moniker and wear it proudly; others are simply trying to do their best to help Tammy or Timmy begin or advance a show-biz career. Either way, mistakes by well-intentioned stage parents can and do, at the very least, alienate industry professionals and, at worst, permanently damage the delicate psyches of their aspiring offspring. Now there’s help from former child star, Grammy Award winner and author Jesse Cutler, who knows the parenting pitfalls firsthand. He offers these tips:

1. Parents who think their child is perfect must go beyond their own bias if they really want to help, and seek outside evaluations of their kid’s talent from a respected industry professional. Voice training, image refinement or an acting coach may make the difference between success and failure.
2. Beware of the talent agencies that want to charge your child for “lessons” or representation. A bona fide talent agency will charge a standard agency percentage on jobs booked, normally 10% for theatrical bookings and as high as 25% for modeling jobs.
3. Teach your children humility; parents tend to want to build self-confidence in their child and that’s great. Just do it in a way that also instills them with a sense of modesty as well. Arrogance is so overrated.
4. Encourage healthy competition. Support your child in exceeding his or her personal best as the way to succeed – in school, on stage and in all areas of life – as opposed to focusing on being “better” than another child. Keep this in mind yourself and avoid talking badly about others. Pretty is as pretty does.
5. Develop your child’s business sense by including them in discussions about bookings or even contract negotiations. And under your watchful eye, also facilitate their direct interaction with casting directors, agents and managers so they become familiar with how business is done. Practice makes perfect in business too.
6. Birds of a feather flock together. Help your child to make friends with kids who have similar show-biz aspirations – and similar values. That way, they’ll always have peer support.
7. Don’t let your reputation as a know-it-all butt-insky stage parent precede you. Your kid will never get her/his best shot.
8. Everyone has to start somewhere, of course, but carefully evaluate and consciously choose that “somewhere.” Otherwise, it could lead to nowheresville.
9. Keep your composure even in the most difficult situations. This will demonstrate to your child how important it is to be disciplined in all areas of professional life, not just on the creative side of things.
10. Above all, be patient. Sure, we know your kid has star quality, but like all things, talent — particularly emerging talent — needs time and space to flourish. Give your child a leg up on stardom by allowing them to explore the wonderful world of entertainment at their own pace.

Jesse Cutler’s autobiography, Starlust: The Price of Fame (Morgan James Publishing, 2008), with a foreword by Paul Schaffer of Late Show with David Letterman, is due out in Fall 2008.

 

 

 

Thank you for your comment.

Close

1. Your name *
2. Your email *
3. Comments *
4. Just to make sure it's really you, please type the characters you see in the image into the box provided. * Reload
5. Post Posting...