How to Write and Record Your Birth Story

By Robin Greene

Interested in preserving and sharing your own birthing story? Well, if you like to write, you can simply take pen to paper or sit at your computer. However, if you're daunted by the idea of putting words on paper, consider using a tape recorder to create an oral account. Either way, I have some suggestions that certainly will help!

 

Suggestion One:

Think about where your story begins before you actually begin. You might want to consider the following possibilities:

1. begin with conception;
2. begin before conception-especially if conceiving was difficult or if that part of your story is particularly interesting or unique;
3. begin at the onset of labor;
4. begin with a pregnancy test-at home, in a doctor's or midwife's office;
5. begin with the first telling of the news of your pregnancy to a husband; significant other, friend, or parent.

The important idea here is to begin with a specific time and place. Every story needs a clear beginning.

Suggestion Two:

After you decide the "where" and "when" of your beginning, find a time-ideally about an hour and a half-and schedule some private, alone-time (very important!) to write or record.

When you're ready to begin, pick a comfortable place and do some deep breathing or relaxation exercises. I suggest that you close your eyes and travel back to the day when your story begins. Still, with your eyes closed, remember yourself as you were. Re-imagine yourself in detail. Re-imagine the time, the place, and others who might have been with you. Visualize that moment in complete physical detail. For instance, you might recall: what you or others were wearing, the time of year and the weather, the day of the week, some unusual thought or idea that crossed your mind, some smell, sound, or other sensation.

The better you're able to remember the physical setting and detail, the better able you'll be to create a "picture" that will allow you to relive and communicate the complex reality of your birthing experience.

Suggestion Three:

The "middle" of your story includes all the information up to the moment of birth-which likely will be the climax of your story. Again, make sure that you stay with physical description as much as possible. The more exact the images you create, the more you and others can visualize the experience.

Try to think specifically about what information to include in this section, but remember that there's a natural chronology you're following, so once you're moving along with your account, there's a rhythm to the sequence of events that will naturally assert itself. My advice here is to:

1. take your time-relax enough to go with the flow of events as they naturally spin themselves out into a narrative;
2. stay focused on details-a nurse's face, an unexpected comment, physical sensations, and physical imagery;
3. relive your experience by being present in that past moment as fully as you can, even if it means laughing or crying aloud;
4. give yourself over to your emotions and to the small details that pop into your mind-don't dismiss them;
5. get real and stay real; don't allow yourself to be stopped by any inhibitions or taboos. This is your story, and you want to tell your truth (as you remember it) in order to do justice to this important moment of your life!

Suggestion Four:

If you're recording, try to complete the telling of your story in a single session, even if you have to stop the tape recorder for a moment. If you're writing, it's best to draft in a single session-you can edit later. It's difficult, or sometimes impossible, to re-enter the same emotional space if you have to leave your story and then return at another time.

When you get up to the moment of the actual delivery, take a deep breath and try to refocus for a second wind-much like you might have had to do during the moment you turned from labor to delivery mode during birth!

You might want to think about where your story ends, or you might want to surprise yourself and come upon the ending naturally. Here, near the end, the same advice applies:

1. remember physical details, sensations, actual thoughts you had, or words people said to you or to each other;
2. be as present in the past as you can be;
3. tell the truth-regardless of how you might think it "sounds.

Last, But Not Least:

Remember, just as there's no wrong or right way to give birth, there's no wrong or right way to write or record your birthing experience. Any document or recorded effort you've completed is a testament to your own unique blend of personal strengths, weaknesses, and mnemonic capabilities. Like the children we give birth to, these stories are part of who we are.

Copyright (c) Madeira Books. All rights reserved.
Reproduced with Permission