It's Potty Time! |
Is Your Child Ready?
Your child is not yet two, but the potty is now another childhood phase. Is my child ready for the bathroom? What are some of the signs I should be looking for? What can I do to make this a positive experience? Are there methods more effective than others?
No two children are alike. Some will be ready at 18 months of age, and others aren't ready till they are three or more. Are boys slower than girls? That seems to be the popular myth and some studies suggest this, but each child is unique. Whatever the age of your child, there will be different signs to show his/her readiness.
Toddlers are just learning about their worlds and their bodies especially learning how to control their bladder and bowel movements. Your child might show signs of readiness by being curious, asking about the toilet, the potty, or underwear. They might be more verbal and tell you when they "go" or that they have to "go". Your child's diaper may stay dry for a few consecutive hours. They can also express discomfort if they do soil their diaper. Your child might be able to listen, understand and execute things that you ask of them.
There are no magic formulas when teaching your child to use the toilet. There isn't one method better than the other. If your child attends daycare, it's important that both the educator and yourself work in the same manner. You won't be able to do it alone and neither will the daycare. Your child will appreciate the supportive team--it's a joint affair.
There are differences between the potty, the potty seat and the toilet. The potty method is preferred by many parents. It's portable, and it's the right size for little ones. The down side is that it needs to be cleaned after every use. It can be good for teaching children about cleanliness and personal hygiene.
Some parents prefer to skip the potty stage. There are potty seats that can be attached to the toilet or you may choose to go straight on the toilet. The toilet is available with running water, and less chances of accidents and spills. To alleviate fear, you can show your child to sit facing towards the wall. Your child will be able to get on and off with more security.
Parents often ask should they use underwear or pull-ups? Accident are inevitable no matter which method you choose. Underwear will require parents to do more laundry and pull-ups are a costly option, but both will be a challenge when the child has a loose stool. It's really a question of personal choice. Whether your choice is one or the other, dress your child accordingly. Leave your child in underwear or pull-ups and loose pants. Tights, long and fluffy skirts or pants with zippers, belt, buttons, or suspenders, might only frustrate a child who's trying so hard to be grown-up.
The main idea is to try and be flexible. Your child will need you to respect their own bodily schedule. Some children will learn toileting in a few weeks, and others can learn in a few months. Don't compare your child to older siblings, cousins or friends--each child is unique.
Don't show your disappointment to your child. Never punish or embarrass when your child has an accident. This will only belittle them and make them feel incompetent. It can take longer if your child feels scared of your reaction. Be supportive and understanding in this learning stage.
You can create your child a potty book. Using pictures from parenting magazines, catalogues where the children are sitting on the potty/toilet, children pictured in pull-up style diapers, and children in underwear. These pictures show the different stages the child may come across in this learning stage. You can paste them in a scrap book or a mini photo album. There are a few books available on this subject. Read them with you child and answer their questions.
Alison Mack's Toilet Learning (Little, Brown And CO) Part II has drawings of children on the toilet as well as drawings of mother, father, doctor,...and many more. These drawings are done in good taste and in a realistic manner. The sense of comfort comes in as the child sees they're not the only one but that everyone uses the toilet. This will enhance self-esteem as the child will feel important and will also want to be more independent.
Next to the potty/toilet can be a simple basket filled with a few comic books, or magazines. Your child may feel comfortable if there's something to look at during the waiting process. Let your child determine the length of time "waiting". In your basket you can add a roll of toilet paper. A rubber band placed around it can stall your toddlers who are not ready for toileting but like to play with toilet paper. If you also flatten out the roll, it won't roll so well, it won't be as much fun. In your potty book, you can also add pictures of children washing their hands. This will help to show after toileting comes hand washing. Children learn by modeling, let the pictures help you model.
Some children will be motivated by a reward system. You can make your child a chart and give a sticker for every toilet/potty use. After a pre-determined amount of stickers they receive a small prize. This system works well for many children but for others it doesn't do much. Make sure there's no pressure created when using this method. Be attentive and if you see this method isn't working --stop.
If you are trying too hard your child may feel like a power struggle is happening and may rebel against the potty/toilet. They might hold it in until they are wearing their diaper or become constipated. Give it time. Stop everything and wait for a few more weeks. A month or so older at that age can mean a big difference. Be supportive, positive and flexible. When the whole ordeal will be over, you'll be asking yourself why this was such a big deal.
© Marie-Helen Goyetche, all rights reserved
