Learning to Observe Children |
One of the main ways we learn about our children is through observation. When we consciously and thoughtfully watch our children, we gain invaluable insight into who they are and how to best interact with them.
Observation is something parents do naturally. As soon as our babies are born, we find ourselves gazing at them -- both when they're asleep and when they're awake. Their every gesture, sound and random movement keeps us spellbound. There's a reason we find our babies so riveting. It's nature's way of making sure they're protected and cared for.
Parents observe the ways their babies explore, the expressions on their faces, the tenor of their cries, the color of their poops, and the number of diapers they wet. We notice how long they nap, when they cry the most, and what seems to calm them. It is through this observation, this taking of mental history, that we begin to know our children.
After practicing observation in an infant class, Razel, the mother of eight-month-old twins remarked, "When I sit back and observe my boys, I learn about the way they each solve problems. They're like little scientists. And the amazing thing is that they each do it so differently.
Most parents rely on observation to learn about their babies in the first year of life. But once children start talking, many parents assume that observation isn't as necessary. Yet there are many things even verbal children can't articulate.
Observing older children -- watching their facial expressions, body language, tone of voice, peer interactions and dramatic play -- continues to give parents important insights and knowledge.
Why Observe?
As a busy parent, you may think you don't have time for observation. If you have a limited amount of time to spend with your child, why spend it observing?
Observation can be valuable for a number of reasons:
- You get to enjoy your child. Moments of fascination, delight, and pride often accompany observation.
- You learn about child development. Jean Piaget formulated his theories about children through the careful observation of his own three kids.
- You learn what drives and motivates your children. When you watch children over time, you begin to get an idea of what interests them, how they explore and what they're trying to learn.
- Observation enables you to provide children with avenues to further their explorations. When you know your child is working on pouring, you can supply her with a set of plastic cups in the bathtub.
- Observation gives you a chance to see your children as they are. Most parents have some expectations about who they want their children to be. Yet it's also important to balance those expectations by asking kids, "And who are you?" Observation can help you answer that question.
- Observation enables you to respond to each child as a unique individual. Janis notes: "I find I can interact with a child most appropriately once I've observed him. Otherwise I'm coming in ready to interact with all the children his age I've ever been with before, rather than this particular child.
- When you see what children are working on, you can gain a new perspective on "misbehavior. This can help you move beyond your own frustration and respond more empathetically to unsuccessful behavior.
- Observation lets your child know she is important to you. When children see that we are interested in them and in what they are doing, they feel valued.
