Living with a politically correct offspring |
We raise them as best we can. We teach them to be good, honest, sensible human beings. We teach them to say "please" and "thank you" and to always think of others. You beam with joy as friends praise your wonderful little angels.
Then one day you wake up and they are preteens - full of life, charging towards the future and changing the world, for the better, along the way. Suddenly your polite little child is a politically correct teenager, seeing the world, in many ways, quite different than they did just a few months ago.
While you applaud her newfound sense of responsibility to save the world - secretly you have to chuckle remembering when you were their age and how you and your friends were going to change the world.
So before you condemn them for their behaviour - think back to when you took a stand about something you believed in.
Now of course what they are doing is nothing new, we've all been there. No Fur! No Meat! No War! we did it and generations before us did it too. As it turns out, preteen passion for politics isn't all that unusual. According to author Myrna B. Shure Ph.D., who was quoted recently saying " It's quite common for kids of this age to embrace values and causes that are at odds with those of their parents." Kids at this point in their lives are looking for ways to make themselves different from their parents. "It's a way of separating and asserting their individuality," notes Shure who suggests that parents celebrate these changes because your child is blossoming a social conscience.
But that maybe easier said then done for some parents. While many of us cheer our young off-springs' awakening to the world around them - living with them can be difficult. Unfortunately along with a social conscience comes a new persona, often one of inflexibility and self-righteousness. A misplaced pop can in the regular garbage bin could result in an hour-long speech about how landfills are killing the earth.
So where do these extreme ideas come from all of a sudden? Psychologists say these changes are often inspired by an adult that the preteen admires. "That's exactly what happened with my daughter Marie," says Sharon Andic of North York, Ont. The mother of two children John 17 years old and Marie 15, says the idea was sparked by her two older stepdaughters, who are both vegetarians. "Marie really looked up to them and I think they were her main influence," recalls Andic. Marie's political correctness began slowly and steadily increased says her mom. She was just 13 when she started saying " No, I don't want to eat that " and that lead to "I don't want to eat meat anymore." Andic and her husband Dushan didn't really try to dissuade their daughter, "she's a very determined person," laughs Andic who knows she couldn't persuade her daughter anyway. "We talked about it at the dinner table and we would say, okay if you're not going to eat meat then you have to eat some other forms of protein," recalls Andic who says Marie's change in diet eventually changed the family's eating habits too.
All and all Marie's decision to stop eating meat was a fairly smooth transition says her mother. " The only person she took some razzing from was her older brother, who loves meat," says Andic. "She was even responsible enough to tell their family doctor what she was doing," states Andic, who feels her daughter has developed into a healthy, responsible vegetarian. " The only people I can remember who had a problem with Marie's new choice," laughs Andic, "were her two grandmothers who of course were raised during a time when you were told you'd get sick if you didn't eat meat."
While Marie Andic's political correctness became a successful way of life for her, other kids take a much stronger stance that can be quite disruptive for everyone in the family. While adopting a particular position may be your teen's way of making an adult decision, keep your sanity through the whole thing can be a little taxing. Here are some ways to handle the PC in your house.
Respect your child's decision
Although in some cases it may be difficult, try to respect their beliefs. It's important that they see their cause for what it is. Whether you believe it's just a passing phase or a silly attempt at fitting in with friends, treat the situation seriously.
Stand by your beliefs
It's great to support your children and help them stay true to their cause, but don't be manipulated by it. If your child has decided to become a vegetarian and constantly berates you or someone in the family for eating meat - put a stop to it. Tell them you respect their decision but they must respect your choice to eat meat.
Join the cause
If your child has thrown his support behind a cause and it's something you deem worthy - join the fight. When your 14-year-old son takes up the cause for abandoned animals, ask what you can do to help. If he's taking part in a walk-a-thon to raise money for a local shelter, lace up your running shoes and do your bit.
Be flexible
Sometimes giving a little bit goes a long way and helps keep some peace around the house. If your 13-year-old daughter decides that she's becoming a vegetarian give her a little slack. Try to make one night a week a "meatless" meal for everyone or have a night out and dine at a vegetarian restaurant for a change.
Repress the snickers
Though it may be hard at times - you've probably heard it all before - don't make fun of your child's decision. If your 11-year old wants to write to the Prime Minister and demand that anyone caught throwing garbage on the ground should pay a fine - don't giggle, help him draft the letter.
As a parent it's important that your children see that you're proud of their convictions and their commitment to help make the world a better.
