Masters & Disasters of Marriage Quiz

By Dr. John Gottman

What makes Marriage Work?

For the last 25 years at the Family Research Lab at the University of Washington, Dr. John Gottman studied what he calls the "masters and disasters" of marriage. He studies heartrate, facial expression, and how people talk about their relationship to each other and to other people. He's able to predict with 90% accuracy which couples are going to make it, and which will not. Test the strength of your marriage in this relationship quiz prepared by Gottman.

Give yourself one point for each "yes" answer.

1. I can name my partner's best friends.
   yes
   no
2. I can tell you what stresses my partner is currently facing.
   yes
   no
3. I know the names of some of the people who have been irritating my partner lately.
   yes
   no
4. I can tell you some of my partner's life dreams.
   yes
   no
5. I can tell you about my partner's basic philosophy of life.
   yes
   no
6. I can list the relatives my partner likes the least.
   yes
   no
7. I feel that my partner knows me pretty well.
   yes
   no
8. When we are apart, I often think fondly of my partner.
   yes
   no
9. I often touch or kiss my partner affectionately.
   yes
   no
10. My partner really respects me.
    yes
    no
11. There is fire and passion in this relationship.
    yes
    no
12. Romance is definitely still part of our relationship.
    yes
    no
13. My partner appreciates the things I do in this relationship.
    yes
    no
14. My partner generally likes my personality.
    yes
    no
15. Our sex life is mostly satisfying.
    yes
    no
16. At the end of the day my partner is glad to see me.
    yes
    no
17. My partner is one of my best friends.
    yes
    no
18. We just love talking to each other.
    yes
    no
19. There is lots of give and take (both people have influence) in our discussions.
    yes
    no
20. My partner listens respectfully, even when we disagree.
    yes
    no
21. My partner is usually a great help as a problem solver.
    yes
    no
22. We generally mesh well on basic values and goals in life.
    yes
    no

Above 12: You have a lot of strength in your relationship. Congratulations!.

7 to 12: This is a pivotal time in your relationship. There are many strengths you can build upon but there are also some weaknesses that need your attention.

6 or fewer yes answers. Your relationship may be in serious trouble. If this scares, you probably still value the relationship enough to try to get help.

To learn more about what makes marriages work, read The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work, by John Gottman. If you are interested in obtaining more information about Gottman's research, obtaining educational materials from The Gottman Institute, or learning about their workshops for couples, check their Website at www.gottman.com.