Miracle Births - Premature Infants |
Little Thumbs Up!
The inside of a NICU is totally memorized by every parent or relative who spent considerable amounts of time there, waiting for their miracle to bloom. Every piece of equipment is easily summoned in their mind. So is each nurse, each monitor. Even the sink where one must vigorously scrub fingers, hands and forearms for about five minutes. Physical elements aren't the only memories, though.
Robyn and Brian waited and waited to have a baby in the first place. It was almost a heartless joke that, when they did, they were kept away from him by the protective shell of an incubator. When would they get to give BT some good-old human protection? Sticking hands on glass and saying prayers worked for a while. Also somewhat comforting was feeling that "tug" on the heartstrings, during the long commutes. Quickly, those kinds of things were not enough.
The Reillys could not touch their baby for a couple weeks after his birth. During the following two-week interval, they were given the OK to reach into the incubator and touch BT, but ever so slightly, ever so briefly. And he remained hooked up to a respirator and God knows what else. How could they bond under such circumstances?
Next step. Doctors said the time was right for Robyn and Brian to actually hold BT. Of course, the bundle they held was more blanket than baby. And those pesky tubes and wires were still there. It didn't matter to them. According to Robyn, having the chance was both joy of joys and frightening. And not to mention frustrating. "They put the baby in your arms, but you are holding the respirator to keep it from bending. You're really not touching him yet, but all of those contraptions that came with him." It still was monumental, because it signified a new beginning. One of hope. A feeling of finally being physically (at least somewhat) and emotionally connected. But the happiness they felt holding BT was understandably tempered by the difficult logistics of the situation. "It was like holding a . . . cracked. . . egg" said Brian, slowly emphasizing each word, cupping his palms together to resemble a fragile shell. "You're sitting there, feeling very uncomfortable. It took away the joy of being able to finally hold a child." He at least could still reach into the incubator to hold a leg, or stroke a miniature hand. It was of some consolation.
