One Year Olds: 17 & 18 Months

Emotions are blossoming. You have probably noticed by now that your toddler can show strong feelings. You may have seen him become suddenly very excited, frustrated, happy, angry or fearful. You can help him understand his feelings by giving them names. When a box won't open or a toy won't roll, he may drop it or throw it in anger. Hold him, and say calmly that you know it makes him angry when the toy won't work. These words show your toddler that you understand his anger. They also give him a word to help him understand his feelings. Show him how the toy works, give him a different one, or just hold him gently. He will know you care about his feelings, and will begin to learn to handle them. It takes many years for a child to understand and cope with feelings. The more help you give now, the easier this learning will be.

Keep exploring safe for your toddler. Your child must explore to learn. Help her explore safely. She will explore everything around her. She will put everything into her mouth, and reach everything she can see. She will crawl or climb onto, into, above or below anything. She does not know what is dangerous, and cannot remember "no." It is up to you to think ahead for her -- to understand that at any time she may suddenly do something that will put her in danger. As your child learns to do more and more things -- like climbing out of her crib or unlocking gates -- you may need to childproof new areas. Soon, your child will grow to understand what things are dangerous. But for now, you need to protect her.

How can I avoid spoiling my child? Most of us think a spoiled child is one who always has to have his own way, even at the expense of others. He is demanding, self-centered, and unpleasant to be around. You cannot spoil a young baby by giving him care, comfort and attention when he wants it. One-year-olds who have been well cared for are generally secure and trusting. But babies who cannot count on their caregiver during their first year may be fearful and more demanding. To keep from spoiling your child during the second and third years, set limits and enforce them all the time. Children get spoiled when parents give in to unreasonable demands, fail to limit annoying behavior, or let their children's minor needs inconvenience others. When limits are clear and enforced all the time, children learn how to succeed within these limits. This builds self-esteem. Children need and want reasonable limits and rules. These should be rules your child can understand and follow, such as "Stay away from the street," or "Food is for eating, not throwing." Don't be afraid that your toddler won't like you if you don't always give him what he wants. Let him know you love him, but you will not let him misbehave. Help your toddler understand: what the rules are, why they are needed, and what will happen if he does not follow the rules. Setting and enforcing limits shows your toddler that you will help him to grow up safely, competently -- and unspoiled.

What's it like to be 17 and 18 months old?

How I grow

• like to lug, tug and drag things.
• I like to grab anything I can reach.
• I'm beginning to use one hand more than the other.
• I can walk upstairs if you will hold one hand.
• I'm learning to creep backward downstairs.
• I like to run, but I fall or bump into things sometimes.
• I want my own way almost all the time.
• When things don't go the way I want them to, I get angry.

How I talk

• I can say about 10 words, but mostly I use the word "no."
• I often have long, babbled conversations with myself.
• I'm getting good at imitating words.
• I understand more words than I can say.
• I can ask you for what I want, like a cookie, by naming it -- sometimes.
• I will do what you ask me to do -- sometimes.
• I try to sing, and I like to have you sing to me.
• I am beginning to understand the meaning of "now."

Play I enjoy

• I like to play with nesting toys and stacking toys.
• I often run around without any particular plan.
• I like to push wheel toys, large toy boxes and other things like that around the floor.
• I like to blow bubbles.
• I may be able to string large, colored, wooden beads.
• I still don't play very long with any one thing.

What I am learning

• I can fit a round block into a round hole.
• I can build a tower of two or three blocks.
• I can use a stick to get a toy.
• I can point to one or two parts of my body if you name them.
• I can copy the simple lines you make on paper.
• I may be able to match circles and squares on a form board.
• With your help, I can turn pages of a book.
• I am beginning to remember where things belong.

How I get along with others.

• I still love to show off and get attention.
• I'm still mostly just interested in myself.
• I may be grabby and greedy.
• Sometimes, I'm stubborn and bossy. And sometimes, I'm loving.
• In a few months, I'll be calmer and friendlier.
• I may be afraid of some things, like thunder and lightning and large animals.
• I may have temper tantrums when I'm tired, angry or frustrated.

What I can do for myself

• I can help put toys away.
• I may be able to turn on some faucets.
• When I'm ready for bed, I may bring you my pillow or my favorite stuffed toy.

Reproduced with the permission of CCSS National Network for Childcare