One Year Olds: 19 & 20 Months

Your child is special. Isn't it nice that your child is like no other in the whole world? Parents often worry that their children are not developing as they should. So with every issue of Parenting the Second and Third Years, we remind parents that normal children develop at different speeds. Those who study young children agree that development varies. Normal children may walk as early as 7 months, but many do not walk before they are 18 months old. Normal children may first talk at 8 months, or at 24 months -- and so it is with all learning. Your child naturally enjoys learning new skills. You can support and help this learning -- not by pushing, criticizing or comparing your child with other children, but by teaching, helping and celebrating his own successes.

By now, your toddler is feeding herself. A high chair can help. Toddlers are such busy little people, they might not want to stop to eat when it's time for a meal or snack. When you put your child in a high chair, she knows it's time to stop what she is doing and eat. Sitting up also helps prevent choking, and helps a child focus on eating -- at least while she's hungry. Serve your toddler food at the same time everyone else is eating. She will learn how to eat by watching you and other family members eat.

Don't expect good table manners yet. She will learn these slowly over the next few years. There will be lots of spills. Most of the time, these will be accidents. If spills happen three or four times in a row, your toddler might be playing, or trying to get your attention. This means it is probably time to end the meal.

How can I get my child to eat vegetables? Surveys show that many children are not eating the three vegetable servings and two fruit servings each day that the Food Guide Pyramid recommends. Here are some tips for parents who want to help their toddlers learn to like and eat fruits and vegetables more often: Serve the new food often and encourage -- don't force -- your child to taste it. Children often need to become familiar with new foods. Eat it yourself without making a big deal of whether he eats it, too. After tasting a new food ten or more times, children often start to like the taste of something they used to think was "icky." Don't give rewards of less nutritious foods (dessert) to a child who eats his vegetables. Studies show that using one food as a reward for eating another teaches the child to like the reward food better than the food you want him to try. Be realistic and patient. Everybody has a few tastes they'll never like. If you get frustrated and try to make your child eat vegetables, he will learn to hate them. Family meals may become a battleground instead of a place for pleasant talking and sharing.

What's it like to be 19 and 20 months old?

How I grow

• I explore a lot.
• I can run without falling too often.
• I can stand on either foot, holding on.
• I may be able to kick a big ball.
• I still like to climb on everything.
• I don't know about safety, so I count on you to keep things safe for me to explore.
• I like being independent. But sometimes I want to act like a baby.

How I talk

• I'm very good at saying "no."
• I can say about 15 words.
• I love to name things.
• I ask a lot of questions, mostly by saying "Why?" or "What's that?" Be patient with me. I am just trying to learn.
• I can follow simple directions.
• I like to be read to.
• I like to listen to nursery rhymes.

What I am learning

• I can pull the toilet paper wa-a-a-y out!
• I can put two pieces together to form a simple puzzle.
• I can draw an up and down line pretty well.
• I'm beginning to know what things are for, like a toy hammer is for pounding.

How I get along with others

• I love cuddling.
• I like to help you do simple things.
• I like to do things without adult help.
• Even when I'm with other children, I like to play alone.
• I may treat other children like they were things. I may hurt them.
• I want to keep my toys to myself, and I may hide them so others can't play with them.
• I need time to get to know people. I'm afraid of some people.
• I may be less friendly to adults now, but this will pass.

What I can do for myself

• I can feed myself pretty well.
• I can brush my own teeth. But I won't be able to do a good job for a long time.
• I can go to bed without complaining.
• I can let you know when I need dry clothing.
• I will let you know when I'm going to have a bowel movement -- sometimes.

Play I enjoy

• I like to play alone, but I like adults to be near me.
• I like to dress up in adults' clothes, and pretend I am an adult.
• I like picture books, and I love to look at pictures of myself.
• I like to look at myself in the mirror.
• I like to have you sing to me.
• I like to make mud pies and pretend to eat them.
• I like to take toys apart.
• I like rides and walks.
• I like you to push me on a swing.

Reproduced with the permission of CCSS National Network for Childcare