One Year Olds: 21 & 22 Months

You are still #1 with your more sociable toddler. You know by now that the very best plaything your toddler can have is a caring adult. In other words, she needs someone like you who will play with her and enjoy her learning. Your toddler will be watching other children playing, and may even follow after them. At this age, though, your child is more interested in you, her own play and her own toys than in other children.

Poking, touching and pushing are her ways of showing interest in other children. Making friends She may develop interest in a special friend her own age, if that friend is with her a lot. You will notice your child will smile more and fight less with this friend than with a strange child. From 2 to 3 years of age, your child will become more social and will enjoy playing with other children. Groups of children play best when they have the same toys. Two toddlers will fight less if there are two blue trucks the same size -- or two dolls -- instead of one truck or one doll.

Play is the main activity of childhood. It is the way children learn about themselves, their family, and their world. Let your child play alone sometimes. But also make time to play with her. You'll learn about her, she'll learn about you, and you will be helping her to grow. Help your toddler play with others. Help me learn to play with another child. I may push or poke to say hello. You can show me how to touch gently, and use words to say "Hello." Stay near me while I play, so I can come back to you quickly. Don't force me to share my favorite toys. Help me look for toys that my friend can play with. I still may take the toys away. This isn't because I want to play with them. I'm just not sure I want the other child to have them. If we go to another house to visit, let me take a few of my own toys with me. I'll feel better if I know I can take them back home.

My toys! Your toddler is just now becoming attached to certain toys. He may sincerely hug his teddy bear. Then, when another child comes near, he may clutch the bear tightly and scream: "Mine!" Rather than see this as selfish, agree that the bear is, indeed, his bear. Ask him to show his friend how nicely he can kiss his bear. Instead of scolding him for not sharing his favorite toy, suggest that he choose another toy for his visitor to play with. You may even be able to avoid some squabbles by letting your child put away his most special toys before a friend comes over. Remind him that he needs to share his other toys, but all his toys will stay in your house when his friend goes home. When you respect your child's right of ownership, you tell him that he is an important person. Toddlers who have been respected as individuals with rights of their own can become the most generous of 3-year-olds.

What's it like to be 21 and 22 months old?

How I grow

• I love to run, throw and climb.
• I can walk upstairs with both feet on each step, holding a railing.
• I am probably using one hand more than the other.
• If you fold a paper, I can imitate you.
• I can help with simple tasks.
• I can follow about three directions.
• I'm becoming a little less self-centered.

How I talk

• I can say about 20 words.
• I can ask for things by name.
• I can point to body parts on myself or my doll.
• I like to have you sing me rhyming songs.
• I like to hear stories.
• I like to look at books. But if you don't watch me, I may tear them.

What I am learning

• I'm interested in very tiny things, especially bugs.
• Watch what I put in my mouth!
• I love to build and knock down, empty, pull apart, feel, twist and squeeze everything I can get my hands on.
• I can build a tower of four or five blocks.
• I am really curious about people, animals, birds, and everything that I see.
• I can recognize and name people I know from photographs.
• I can recognize a picture in a book, even when the book is upside down.
• I can put together a puzzle, if it has only two or three big pieces.
• I like listening to nursery rhymes. And if you help me, I can repeat them.

How I get along with others

• I'm developing a mind of my own. So I don't respond so quickly to requests, and often do the opposite of what I'm asked.
• I can understand what's mine, and what's yours.
• I try to tell people what I have seen and done.
• I can show love to you and other favorite people.
• I'm beginning to be sympathetic to other people, and I can sometimes cooperate with others.
• I'm becoming easier to get along with, but I still get demanding at times.
• I am continually testing the limits you set, and trying to get my own way.
• My feelings are easily hurt by criticism.

What I can do for myself

• I can wash and dry my hands.
• I can hold a cup and drink from it.
• I can pick up and put away my toys, if you help me.
• I like to sweep, dust, mop, hammer, vacuum, shovel, scoop or rake, because I have seen you do these things.
• I may be able to put on my shoes. But I can't tie them, and I may put them on the wrong feet.
• I may be able to put things where they belong.

Play I enjoy

• I like to fit things together.
• I enjoy using a toy telephone.
• I like to pull things around in a wagon or cart.
• I like to play tag with you or an older child.
• I can put rings on a peg toy.
• I like to pretend, like wrapping up my doll or stuffed animal and putting it to bed.

Reproduced with the permission of CCSS National Network for Childcare