Parents as Lovers: How to "Babyproof" Your Sex Life

By Ann Douglas

You already know how important it is to babyproof your home before your new baby arrives on the scene. What you might not realize is that it's important to "babyproof" your sex-life, too. Here are some sure-fire strategies for keeping the sizzle in your sex life throughout your childbearing years.

Be prepared for a bit of a rough ride during the first few months after you have a baby. While a lot of couples find that their shared excitement about the pregnancy brings them closer together during the months leading up to their baby's birth, it can be hard to maintain that same degree of intimacy once baby makes three-especially since sleep deprivation isn't exactly known for its aphrodisiac qualities. Don't assume that you're the only new parent whose libido has temporarily hit rock bottom. Studies have shown that only 17% of couples manage to find the time and energy for sex during the first month after giving birth.

Invest in your relationship on a regular basis. Make spending time with your partner a priority, even if that means keeping your eyes open for an extra hour after the kids go to bed, asking a friend or relative to stay with them for an hour or two so that you and your partner can have dinner out at a favourite restaurant, or simply unplugging the phone for an hour or two in the evening so that you and your partner can enjoy some uninterrupted time together. With any luck, the time and energy you invest in your relationship will reap tremendous dividends for you and your partner, both inside and outside of the bedroom.

Don't wait to be swept away by a moment of passion. Rather than leaving things to chance, plan your next romantic interlude ahead of time. Scheduled sex may not be quite as romantic as spontaneous sex, but it's definitely a better alternative to no sex, and-for many couples-it's the only sure-fire way to keep their sex lives on track during the crazy-busy childbearing years.

Set the stage for romance. It's hard to feel romantic when you've spent the entire day dealing with a crying baby or a whiny toddler-or if you're worried about how your second grader is doing at school. You may find it easier to switch from mommy mode to siren mode if you take some time for yourself at the end of the day. Light some scented candles, treat yourself to a bubble bath, listen to some romantic music, or read a few pages of a steamy novel. Do whatever it takes to nurture and replenish yourself.

Above all else, keep your sense of humor. A shared laugh at the end of a particularly rough day can work wonders by cementing the ties between you and your partner and relieving some of the stress of parenthood. Laughter is truly the best medicine, so make sure you keep a large bottle on hand.

Ann Douglas is the author of The Mother of All Parenting Books. She can be contacted via her website at www.having-a-baby.com.