Part-Time Dad? Not! |
Somebody very important in our world asked me, what is it like to be a part-time dad? This gave me some food for thought. Especially as there are so many aspects to being a parent.
One of those is some people's favorite subject, money. I'm paying a court ordered amount that was determined in mediation for child support to mom. On top of that, there are various other costs associated with being a father in my situation. Caylen has two beds, two strollers, two sets of toys, and so on. I have to maintain a separate residence, along with a car, insurance, and gas. All of which, I wouldn't have to be spending money on, if me and mom had Caylen in a more traditional setting, like marriage. So financially, I'm far from being a part-time dad, I am very much a full time dad, and then some.
Another very natural part of being a parent, is worrying about your child. I'm not going to say that I worry more then any other parent, but I do worry as much as any, along with some concerns that are unique to my situation. I worry about the effect of being an only child will have on him. I worry about the effect it will have on him, should he one day find out, that his father had to take his mother to court to see him. Or when he comes home from school crying, having been called names because his parents are not married. Well hopefully, I'm not too much of a worry wart, but that is definitely full-time.
Thinking about about your child is also a part of parenthood. Sometimes at work, I will very briefly drift off, (I have to write the "very briefly" part in case my boss reads this) and think about something Caylen said or did. And I would smile. A co-worker then would ask me why am I smiling and I would tell them. And we would for a moment, enjoy that delightful or funny memory of my son. Then we immediately would get back to producing an incredible fabulous amount of work. (That of course is the truth, and not just in case my boss reads this) In my mind, Caylen is always with me.
The most important aspect in parenting to me, is time. Especially in this busy rat race dog eat dog world we live in nowadays. I read somewhere, the number one rule in raising children is, spend half as much money, and twice as much time. To a child nothing is more important then the giving of our time. When he is with me, he has my total undivided attention. Except maybe that brief second, where I hear on tv the latest sports scores.
So considering everything that is involved in being a father, I am definitely a full-time dad. The only thing that is part-time about me in my situation is the quantity of time that I spend with Caylen. And in that case, it is so very much quality over quantity, because I don't take time with him for granted. And every precious second, is worth it.
