Reflections from the Garden

By Rob Stringer

Everyday I learn how to become a better parent. Sometimes lessons are learned or practiced through issues that present themselves to be faced. Other times I grow through reading or conversations with people. Today was no different, except that today my teacher was a tulip.

Taking advantage of the sunshine (and absence of rain!), my daughter Emma and I decided to weed the garden in front of our house. It was there, pulling out the umpteenth clump of unwanted grass and weed that I realized just how similar gardening and parenting are to each other.

Begin with the end in mind. Just last year, the kids and I moved into our current home. An older house on a smallish city lot, it has a couple of gardens for us to design. But what should they look like? We need to have a vision (or pay someone for theirs) of the desired garden before we can start to make it a reality. The same is true of your family and your parenting practices. Every so often, you need to stop and visualize our "destination" to know the direction in which to head.

Make a plan. The secret behind all great gardens is a plan. Master gardeners take time to think about plant selection, arrangement and care of each plant or seedling. The same outcome cannot be achieved by unconsciously choosing and placing plants about the yard. Yet how easy and often people get caught up in the day-to-day trivia of their lives and "unconsciously" parent. Present in body, their minds and decision-making are on autopilot. The secret behind making your family great is to have both a plan and the discipline to remain mindful and present.

TLC. Neglect a plant and it will wither. As too will the relationships we have with our children. Our kids need to receive our unconditional love, someone to believe in them, and a sense of optimism. Without regular "feedings”, your children's sense of self will also wither.

Step back & watch. You've done your best to prepare the soil, select the best plants and control the conditions. However, eventually you just have to step back to watch and wait. The same it true of our kids. You WILL encounter a few surprises along the way. The trick is to realize that life does not always go according to plan, and focus on how you handle the unexpected, rather than the fact it happened.

We have great plans for our gardens, the kids and I. We have a vision, thought-out plans, and realize we each have important part to play in the nurturing process. The kids and I did not plant the tulip that sprouted in our garden this spring. That was a good surprise. Only time will tell what other unexpected guests will arrive ... but I am confident, that together, we can overcome anything that comes our way.

© Rob Stringer.com
© Rob Stringer Parenting and Life Coach Rob Stringer helps regular families achieve remarkable results! For more ideas, resources, coaching information, or to subscribe to his FREE "Parenting with Intention" newsletter visit www.ParentingWithIntention.ca.