Secondary School

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The All Important Good Start

By Peter Massiah

It Will Probably Be OK

Most kids who are successful in grade school are the same in high school. Most make the transition just fine. But, the transition is a vulnerable time and requires heightened awareness on everyone's part. Now is the time to reinforce good habits and establish routines for study and effective school management.

It Starts the Year Before It Happens

Reduce anxiety by increasing information and awareness. The more familiar with the environment the more effective one is in it. Get your student into the new building. Go to events the secondary school puts on. Bring your student. Walk around. Become familiar with the layout. Secondary schools can range up to 4000 and more students. That's a huge change for your child. Do everything you can to increase familiarity with the physical environment.

Talk about it. Listen to your students talk. What specific concerns do they have? Get specific information to deal with concerns. Ask older experienced students that you trust. Question the myths. Has anyone ever really been stuffed in a locker? Is Œhazing' really tolerated? It shouldn't be! Call the school and ask who your students' counsellor will be. They usually have the student body divided by grade or alphabet and can tell you in advance.

Most schools hold information nights for parents and students. Be there. Make contact with the counsellor. Ask questions. Most schools hold orientation activities for incoming freshmen. Make sure your student attends. Talk to them about it. What did they like? Not like? Not understand?

Establish Routines and Expectations. What now, that they are in high school? Kids resist limits. It's their job. Kids benefit from limits. That's your job. Establish them before school starts. It's easier to start tough and loosen limits than to tighten them later. Negotiation is good but you set the outside limits. Homework should become routine; a time, a place, a priority. What's the new bed time? What's expected after school? Where do they check in? Can they baby sit? How much? How late? What about weeknights? Allowed to go out? How many organized activities? How many at one time? On what conditions? How much TV? How much computer time? What are reasonable expectations for grades? For work habits?

Keep Them 'Between the Lines'

We all want our kids to excel and standout. Being a standout can be source of trouble. The safest and most comfortable place for your student is in the range of what is considered normal. This creates some tough choices. Students should be encouraged to do their best and achieve to their ability. They should also be encouraged to be themselves and operate with integrity. The point is, to do things to help your kid fit in. Now may be the time to loosen up a little and let him choose some of the gear for the new start. Most kids want to be seen to belong. Try not to make your kids the exception. Have the money available for fees. Know school routines and follow them. Try for outside appointments after school. Where possible, be sensitive to Œstyle' requests. It's a sad truth about young teens; they don't tolerate difference very well. Now is probably the time to check your tolerance levels on kid fashions and allow some room for choice. Where possible offer options.

Encourage the Group Connection

Your student's friends are her greatest source of comfort and safety during the school day. Do what you can to help her stay connected. If the rest are walking, let yours walk too. If you're driving, then pick up some others. Try not to isolate your kid from the group. The move to secondary school shakes some long established groups. Keep an eye on it. Check out any new members. Be wary if your students' group breaks up. Do what you can to help establish new connections. Loners are vulnerable and without support in a new and scary environment.

Get Connected Stay Connected

Information is your best tool in helping your child be successful. Go to the parent evenings. Introduce yourself to teachers. Introduce yourself to consellors. If your student has a special ed. background, be in touch with the special ed. department. Knowing someone at home cares gives a boost to your child's profile in most classes. Many schools publish student agenda books with pages on expectations and routines. Ask to see it and read it. Many schools publish student agenda books with pages on expectations and routines. Ask to see it and read it. Most schools publish dates for newsletters, interim reports and major reports to parents. Post the list. Ask for the newsletters. Ask for the report cards. Talk about the report cards. Go to the parent teacher interviews; trouble or not. Let your student know it's important " walk your talk. Let the teachers know it's important " walk your talk. Do you have the school web site bookmarked? Do any of the teachers have a course website?

Be Alert Be Responsive

A lot of kids are poor self-reporters. They minimize troubles, are slow to ask for help, are afraid to rock the boat, and don't like to upset you. Trust your instinct. You know your kid best. Make the call if you suspect something's wrong. Don't wait for the report card. Make sure your telephone info is up to date on school records. Have you given the school YOUR E mail address? Know the reasons for poorer than expected grades. Know what the solutions are and support them. Get the full story on any incidents. Talk to both sides. Not satisfied? Get help. Call a counsellor. Call a Vice Principal. Call a principal.

Most kids will be just fine. There are things you can do to make it easier, on them and ultimately, on you. A good start is very important. A bad start can take a long time to fix.