Seven Secrets to a Happy Marriage |
The seven principles are based on two decades of study with over 700 couples: the masters and disasters of marriage. Dr. Gottman has culled the most fundamental practices of happy and successful marriages from studies in which he has been able to predict divorce with over 90% accuracy.
Just as Masters and Johnson were pioneers in the study of human sexuality, so Dr. John Gottman has revolutionized the study of marriage. As a professor of psychology at the University of Washington and the co-founder of the The Gottman Institute (formerly called Seattle Marital & Family Institute), he has studied the habits of married couples in unprecedented detail over the course of many years. His new book, The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work, provides powerful evidence--and concrete guidelines--for making marriage work.
What are the seven principles?
- Maintain a love map
- Foster fondness and admiration
- Turn toward instead of away.
- Accept your partner's influence
- Solve solvable conflicts
- Cope with unresolvable conflicts
- Create shared meaning
The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work, packed with questionnaires and exercises, will guide couples in concrete ways to the path toward a harmonious and long-lasting relationship.
Keys to the seven principles relate to friendship, the relations between the sexes, and the role of anger in stable marriages.
Friendship in marriage is an inoculation against distress and disruption. This means keeping up with your partner's triumphs and disappointments on a daily basis.
Men and women: When it comes to making marriage work, men and women are a lot alike--not from different planets. The research shows that men and women have a similar capacity and desire for a loving and intimate romantic friendship. As Dr. Gottman says, "men and women are from earth."
Anger: Popular therapies and marriage advice have one central point exactly wrong: When partners express anger it is not destructive to marriages. In fact anger--uncorrupted by criticism, defensiveness, contempt, or stonewalling--is functional for marriage.
