The Parent-Teacher Interview

By Cara Miller

Parent-teacher interviews are a valuable resource to help your child achieve academic success.  It’s the perfect time to ask questions and see how you can best support your child’s learning. In most Canadian schools, parent-teacher interviews usually take place in November. By this time, teachers have a good understanding of their students’ abilities and weaknesses. Going into the meeting prepared and with a positive attitude will help immensely. We’ve compiled some do’s and don’ts from teachers across the country.

The Do’s

1.  Do show up

Come on time and try and stick to your allotted time slot. If you can’t attend, be sure to notify your child’s teacher in advance.

Once your child reaches high school, some parents feel that they can back off completely. “This is a huge mistake,” says Katharine Adams a high-school teacher in Toronto. “The early high-school years are an important time in your child’s development and they need to know that they have guidance and support from home.”

If you miss the meeting, find out what your teacher’s policy is on answering emails from parents, suggests Sonja Goold, a junior-high-school teacher in Halifax. “Telephone calls are difficult because we're in class all day, but if you send an email it will give us time to gather the appropriate information to answer you.  Most teachers are more than happy to let you know what's going on in the classroom and address any concerns you might have.”

2. Do have a list of questions

If you have any specific concerns, write them down before you go. If you don’t have questions your child’s teacher may only be able to give you a general idea of how your child is doing. This is especially true in the middle-school and high-school levels where teachers can have up to 250 students a year.

Examples of some questions to ask:

• Do you feel that my child is working to the best of his ability?

“This doesn’t mean asking how your child can get an A,” says Nicole Smith, a fourth-grade teacher in Mississauga, Ont.. “It’s possible that your child is working very hard and may never achieve an A. Focus on the child’s effort and not the grade.”

• What do you need from me to help my child succeed?

“Let your child’s teacher know if there is an issue at home that could affect her performance at school,” suggests Goold. “You don't have to give specifics, but knowing will help us be better teachers and more understanding when situations arise.”

• Do you feel that my child needs extra assistance?

“There may be things that can be done at home or outside the classroom to help the student. It may be a homework club or something similar that will provide help,” explains Adams. Often teachers are more aware of available resources.

• Does my child fit in socially with his classmates?  Are there any concerns in this area?

Many parents forget to ask this question or think it’s not as important as schoolwork. Teachers can be far enough removed to objectively see things you may not have noticed before.

• Do you have an outline of what you are planning to cover in the next term?

“Most teachers will have a term-by-term outline that can give you the basics of what is going to be covered,” says Smith.

3.  Do share the details of your parent-teacher interview with your child

“If your child is old enough to understand, it’s very important to share the details of your interview with her teachers.  So many students think that when Mom and Dad talk to the teacher they are in trouble,” says Elizabeth Johnson, an elementary teacher in British Columbia. After the meeting talk about her strengths and some of the things she may need to improve. Let her know you can help and work on these things at home. Make it a positive experience.

The Don’ts

1. Don’t go over your allotted time

“It’s always appreciated when parents remember the time constraints. If you have concerns that go above and beyond the regular parent-teacher interview, come in and arrange to meet at another time,” suggests Goold.  “I like being able to chat with the parents, but they need to remember that we only have a nine-minute interview slot. If another parent's interview is delayed, they may not be able to make it to a later interview,” says Adams.

2. Don’t bring other children with you

If possible, leave siblings at home advises Johnson. “This time is about the student in my class, not about chasing after your toddler who just ripped into my craft tub of googly eyes! A true story!” Other children in the room can be a distraction, but if it’s unavoidable, bring something quiet to keep them occupied while you talk.

3. Don’t discuss sensitive issues in front of your child

“In high school the student should attend the interview if possible, but parents should avoid berating the child in front of the teacher. I can't tell you the number of times that a parent has turned to the child and angrily demanded an explanation of why she didn't hand something in or attend class. At the very least, this wastes time, but more importantly, it embarrasses the child and the teacher. When I mention a late assignment, I'm not looking for the child to be punished. I want the parent to be aware so that the next assignment will be handed in on time,” says Adams.

4. Don’t bring up other school issues

Many school issues are beyond the teacher’s control, says Johnson. Please don't use this time to complain about the principal, class placement or the way money is being spent.  

Aside from attending the interview, Johnson gives some tips on helping your pupil at home:

•      Read your child's planner each night and check for notices.
•      If you are concerned about your child, talk to the teacher right away.
•      Ask your child what they did in school each day.
•      Read with your child and help them with homework.