The Story of Faith |
What was suppose to be one of the best times of my life turned into a rollercoster ride of emotions.
It was May and I had just found out I was pregnant for my third child and my due date was January 1,2000, New Years day.
The first couple of months were "normal" morning sickness, fatigue etc. Since I had already been pregnant twice before and gave birth to two healthy 8lbs baby girls I had no reason to think anything would go wrong this time. I was four months along when an appointment for an ultrasound was made. As it neared I became very excited thinking I could find out the sex of the baby, however what I was told was much more of a surprise. The doctor told us that I had a very small amount of amniotic fluid, and my baby was very small! I was told I would have to be followed closely by a high-risk team of doctors and that some possible reasons for the baby being so small included Down's syndrome, and heart problem. I left the office feeling numb and confused.
I was seen every week by the team and received regular ultrasounds. On November 2,1999 I went to what I thought would be a normal check up and ultrasound and was told that they were admitting me until I gave birth because I was now 30 weeks and the baby was still extremely small and I still lacked amniotic fluid. I was devastated! I remember thinking if they are admitting me this must be serious.
For the next couple of weeks I was put on bed rest and connected to the fetal monitor every morning to ensure that the baby was not in distress. I expected to be in the hospital over the holidays and felt bad for my children at home waiting for my return.
On November 16,1999, I woke up thinking It was going to be just another boring day in bed. Boy, was I wrong!!! Around 6:30PM I had an overwhelming feeling I still can't explain. I paged the nurse and told her that it was just a hunch, but I had a feeling something was wrong, and that I had no bleeding or pain. She told me that I was just paranoid and that she would put me on the monitor in the morning, but I insisted that she do it right away to reassure me. She reluctantly agreed and hooked up the monitor. After only 3 minutes on the monitor it was clear that my baby was in distress. The fetal heart rate was raising to 190 BPM (beats per minute) then falling to 40 BPM then it stopped! There was no heartbeat! I was rushed into the operating room where the doctors found a faint heartbeat and started to perform a cesarean. To me everything seemed to be happening in slow motion, it felt almost dreamlike, as if it was someone else's nightmare. I remember wondering if my baby would have down's syndrome or even survive! The doctors took my baby out of me and rushed into the back room where neonatologists were waiting. They didn't show her to me or even say 'It's a girl' and there were certainly no congratulations given. I asked several times if my baby was O.K. and was told that she was being taken care of. After what felt like hours but was really only 20 minutes my husband was told he could see her. As I lay there alone terrible things went through my mind, are they showing him our dead child? When he came back to see me he had a facial expression I had never seen before, it was a mixture of happiness, confusion, shock, and weariness. "She's alive" he whispered then took my hand and said nothing more.
I was brought into the recovery room and finally about 1 hour later they wheeled in the issolette for 10 seconds, long enough for me to see a very small alien like baby. Her skin was almost see through and she had tubes and wires all over. I was told she weighed 1200 grams (2LBS 9oz) then she was taken away again.
We named our baby Faith. (Ironically we had picked that name before problems in the pregnancy arose).
The next day the doctor told me that, had I not trusted my feeling that something was wrong and insisted that the nurse get the monitor right away; my baby would have died.
Faith spent about a month in the NICU (neonatal intensive care unit) and weighed only 3LBs 3oz when we took her home. She was small but healthy, no down's syndrome or heart problems. Although many tests were done, we still are not sure why she wasn't growing.
Faith was suppose to be our millenium baby but instead she was our miracle baby, home in time for Christmas.
