Two Year Olds: 27 & 28 Months

No one needs to tell you that the toddler years are busy years. They are busy for your toddler, who is into everything -- and busy for you, because you have to chase, protect and teach her. With all this activity and stress, it may be hard to remember that these first three years are probably the most important time in your child's life. You have the chance now to help her become a responsible, loving, accomplished person.

Try to enjoy these busy, important years. Be good to yourself. Take time out when you can, and share child care with others when you need a break. Enjoy your child's growth, and celebrate her new skills with her. Reward yourself, too, for your successes, and don't be hard on yourself for mistakes. All parents make them. When these busy toddler years pass, believe it or not, you will probably look back on this time with pleasure. For now, do all you can to make the most of these important years.

Re-check Safety

Give your house a safety re-check today. Children can get into new dangers as they develop new abilities. Cover electrical outlets. Make sure everything dangerous is locked up, or out of reach. As toddlers learn to climb, they can open cabinets that they could not reach before. They can also climb up bookshelves and tip them over. You can make bookshelves safer by attaching them to the wall. Each home is different. Parents can make their load easier if they stay alert to changing safety risks, and take action as soon as new ones are found. Keep by each phone the numbers for the nearest Poison Control Center, your doctor, and other emergency numbers like 911.

Turn Win-Lose into Win-Win.

Your toddler's growing independence may be a big source of stress in your life right now. Sometimes, you may feel like you're in a war with your child, trying to win every battle. Some battles end so that you both lose. When you win, your child might fight back even harder. When he wins, you might feel angry, defeated or guilty. One way to reduce this stress is to handle these battles so both of you win at least a little. Maybe you can't talk about compromise with a stubborn 2-year-old. But you can figure out how to end up with no one feeling like a loser. If you refuse to get caught up in a battle, then your child can't lose -- and neither can you. For example, your daughter demands that you read her a story, and you want her to help pick up her toys. Maybe she can pick out the story before cleanup, and you can read it when the room is picked up. Or, maybe you can read half the story before cleanup, and read the rest after. You'll both feel better for it.

Stress can be caused by feeling that you have too much to do, and not enough time. You can't even get all your chores done, much less play with your child or take time for yourself. Managing your time better can help prevent this kind of stress. Here are some ideas:

• Make a list of everything you want to get done for one day or one week.
• Decide which things are most important, and which ones can wait, or don't have to be done at all.
• Be reasonable about the number of things you can do in the time you have.
• Write out a schedule for your day, so you can aim for a time to finish each task.
• Think about how you'll do the task in the time you've planned.
• Group chores together if they need similar tools.
• Group all the chores that involve going out, or the ones for which you need someone else to care for your child.
• Figure out how much you really can do in the time you have.
• Don't be afraid to say no to people who want more of your time than you want to give.
• Make sure you build in time for the most important people in your life!

TV Tells Toddlers About Cereals.

Has this happened to you yet? You are pushing your grocery cart down the aisle at the market. Your toddler sees a certain brand of breakfast cereal. He begins calling out the name of the cereal. He wants you to buy it. You are amazed. You've never bought that kind of cereal, and he's never eaten it. How did he find out about it? Probably from TV.

Toddlers don't seem to pay much attention to television, but are often aware of what is happening on the screen. Commercials are very appealing because of the action and noise. The food most often advertised during children's programs is cereal. Some of these cereals are nutritious, others are not. In fact, some of these "cereals" have more sugar than cereal. They are more like candy than food.

How can you tell if a cereal is high in sugar? Look for the ingredient label on the box. Ingredients are listed in order of quantity, starting with the most. If the first, second or third ingredient listed is sugar, sucrose or corn syrup, there is a lot of sugar in the cereal. You will want to choose another cereal lower in sugar. What do you tell your child if you decide not to buy the cereal? Say: "This is not a 'good-for-you' cereal. We want to buy a cereal that will help you grow healthy and strong." Check labels on other cereals, and let him choose from the cereals that are low in sugar. If your child is unhappy because you aren't going to buy the cereal he wants, move away from the cereal display. Go on and do the rest of your shopping. You can spend time reading cereal labels when you are shopping alone. Some families also use this rule: "We never buy anything we see advertised on TV." If you repeat this rule and really follow it, then children accept it. You will have few arguments while shopping.

Bedtime Is Not Always Sleep Time.

My 2 1/2-year-old won't go to sleep when I put him to bed. What can I do? . Bedtime is not always sleep time. Young children need regular bedtimes, and special bedtime routines -- like teeth brushing, stories and hugs. Parents need regular bedtimes for their children, so they can have some time alone. You can expect your child to go to bed and be quiet at set times. Don't worry if he does not always go to sleep as soon as he goes to bed. When he isn't sleepy, let him have some quiet play time in bed until sleep comes.

Homemade Toys That Teach

Isn't it nice to see your child's imagination grow? When your toddler pretends he can be as powerful, as big, and as important as he wants to be, this is a good feeling. He can practice being like members of his family or a king, teacher, or police officer. Imagination and pretend play are important. They help your child cope with his world, and prepare for his future. At this age, your child learns about others' points of view -- their feelings and thoughts -- by acting them out. What he cannot yet do mentally, he now does physically, by pretending to be another person. You can encourage his imagination and be a part of his pretend play by making a carton play place with him.

For the carton play place, you will need:

• Large cardboard box that you might get from grocery or appliance stores -- Your carton should be big enough for your toddler to crawl inside. Make sure there are no staples in the box.
• Utility knife -- Use this to cut the cardboard box. Keep your toddler away from the knife. Put it away as soon as you've finished.
• Crayons, colored paper or streamers, and so forth, for decorating the play place

Making a play place

The box can be whatever your toddler wants it to be -- a house, spaceship, boat, cave, fort, or all of these. Place the box so the open end is on the floor. Cut windows, portholes, or whatever your toddler wants on the sides and back of the box. Let your toddler decorate the box however he wants. He may want you to write his name on the box, or put a message or sign on it.

Watch Out For Toxic Plants!

Many kinds of yard and house plants are poisonous if eaten. Know the plants in and around your home and neighborhood. Your local Poison Control Center has information on toxic plants in your area. It may confuse a young child to offer something from the garden when a nearby plant -- such as nightshade berries or Jerusalem cherries -- could be harmful.

To be safe, don't let your child eat leaves or berries while playing or helping you garden. Watch for mushrooms ("toadstools"), which pop up quickly. If your child eats any part of a plant, or other poison: Call Poison Control. Look inside the front cover of the phone book to find the number, and post it by your phone. If your child needs emergency treatment, bring with you a piece of the plant or substance your child ate. Keep Syrup of Ipecac on hand -- but do not use it unless the doctor, nurse or Poison Control Center tells you to. This strong medicine makes a child vomit -- the right treatment for some poisons, but not others.

Choosing Books For Toddlers

When you select books for toddlers, look for these features:

• Familiar subject -- The book should have things your child knows about.
• Simple plot -- Some books have only pictures with labels on them. These can also be fun for toddlers. Your child will enjoy turning the pages with you, seeing the pictures, and talking to you about them.
• Clear, simple words -- There should be just a few words on each page. Toddlers like books when words are fun to say, and phrases are repeated.
• Large, clear, bright-colored pictures -- Toddlers often like drawings better than photographs, because they are easier to understand.
• See if you can find sturdy cardboard books ("board" books). You can buy these at small cost, or borrow them from your library. Your child can turn the pages of these books more easily, and the pages will not tear.

Discipline With "Time-Out."

Used right, "time-out" can be a good way to handle those times when your toddler seems determined to disobey, and nothing you do will stop her. Time-out means putting your toddler in a safe place away from you for a few minutes. This gives you a chance to calm down if you both need it. This lets your toddler know it is not OK to continue her naughty behavior. When you use time-out, be sure you let your toddler know you love her, and that you do not want to hurt her.

Here are some important things to do to keep time-out as a guidance and discipline method, not a punishment:

• Tell your child about time-out.
• Tell her ahead of time -- before she breaks a rule -- what time-out is, and how you will use it.
• Choose the time-out place carefully.
• Use a safe, non-scary place like a bedroom, a chair, the bottom stair, or part of a room.
• Never use a closet or place that is dark, dangerous, or frightening to your child.
• Tell your toddler WHY you are using time-out, and how long it will last.
• Before time-out, explain to her why she is being disciplined.
• Tell her how long time-out will be, and tell her you will come to get her when the time is up.
• Keep your promise. Keep time-out short.
• For a toddler, time-out should last no more than 3 minutes, or 1 minute for each year of age.
• Set a timer, and be sure you follow your time limits. When the time is up, go in to her, give her a hug, and invite her to be with you.
• Keep calm. When you use time-out or any kind of discipline, stay calm.
• Explain clearly to your child why you are limiting her.
• Follow through firmly, but also show that you love and care for her.

Does My Child Need To Nap?

My child doesn't want to nap. Is a nap necessary? At this age, many children take one 2- to 3-hour nap after lunch, instead of several shorter naps. Each child is different. Some 2-year-olds are nearly ready to give up napping entirely. Others sleep deeply for several hours every afternoon. Unless he seems irritable and overtired, don't force your youngster to sleep during nap time. Do be sure you have some quiet rest time every day, though. Your child can look at books or play quietly in his room. Set a routine, and stick with it. Your busy toddler really needs this quiet break -- and so do you!

Learning At Home

How would you like to start a school in your home? If you're thinking this means books, a chalkboard, and rows of desks, that's not the idea. This school is not only in your home -- this school is your home, your family, and your day-to-day activities. Actually, you've been teaching your child since birth. You might say, "But I don't know how to teach." You don't need a teaching degree. You just need to remember your "ABCs": A child's first and most important teachers are his parents. Be alert to the new situations your child faces each day. Conduct short, simple lessons many times during the day.

Now, here is how to conduct your school. Keep learning fun! Teach by playing games, and talking to your child in a friendly way. Here are some teaching ideas:

• Teach colors. As you set the table, talk about the red dishes, the blue tablecloth. As you sort the clothes, talk about the blue jeans, the white shirt.
• Teach shapes. Talk about shapes of toys or furnishings in your home -- the round mirror, the square table.
• Teach alike or different. Help your child sort spoons and forks in the drawer.
• Teach words. Teach about language and books by showing pictures and reading short stories to your child again and again. Talk with him about the story.

Remember: Your child's first school is in your home. The lessons you teach will prepare him to learn even more when he starts preschool and kindergarten. Children who have been taught at home enjoy learning, and usually learn faster when they start school.

Toddlers Show Their Feelings.

Toddlers naturally show you and tell you that they love you. Welcome and enjoy these feelings. You'll want to show your feelings to your toddler, too, with words and hugs. But just as naturally, toddlers sometimes also say and show that they dislike you. Parents understandably find these angry words and actions hard to take. It is much nicer to hear "I love you" than "I hate you." But both kinds of feelings are common with toddlers, and are part of growing up.

Try to handle these actions and feelings with understanding, instead of arguing or punishing. Your toddler's angry words and actions do not mean you have been a bad parent, or that she really dislikes you. Understand that her anger is temporary and normal. Show your child that you care for her even when she is angry, and that angry feelings are OK. Do not let her turn her feelings into angry actions such as biting, kicking or hitting. And don't give in to unreasonable demands just to prevent angry outbursts. You might try to talk to her, and find out more about why she is feeling angry.Be patient. The good and loving relationship you have with your toddler will keep these angry times short.

Brushing Teeth

Keep brushing your child's teeth with a tiny, pea-size amount of fluoride toothpaste. Use only small amounts of toothpaste because young children tend to swallow it. If your water supply is not fluoridated, your child's doctor or health care provider may recommend fluoride drops to help strengthen teeth. Schedule a dental checkup for your child every six months, or as often as your dentist advises.

Preparing Your Toddler For Special Occasions

Parents are often eager to have their children join in the fun of celebrations. For the young child, these occasions may be happy -- or they may be scary and upsetting. Your young child may not want to talk to a strange Santa Claus, or shake hands with a clown. He will probably not laugh if a neighbor child in a witch costume swoops down upon him. He might not enjoy meeting new relatives at a family gathering, either.

You can't protect your child from every frightening situation. But here are a few things you can do to prepare him for special occasions:

• Talk to your child about where you are planning to go.
• Tell him what he will see and do there. Practice ahead of time, if you can.
• Show your toddler pictures of Santa before visiting him.
• Let him play with masks before Halloween.
• Before the family party, show him photos, and tell him about the relatives he may see.
• Watch with your child from a safe distance before entering a gathering.
• Let him watch other children meeting Santa or a clown, and reassure him with hugs and words. Then, let your child take his time getting acquainted, and let him decide whether to participate.
• Don't force him to get close to unfamiliar or scary people or characters.

Games for growing

SORTING GAME

Help your child learn how things can be alike or different.

How to play
Find three or four each of about four different things, like four playing cards, four ribbons, four spoons, four leaves. Mix these up, and put them in a pile or a bowl. Ask your child to sort them into piles of things that are alike. If your child wants, you can take a turn at sorting, too. To make the game harder, you can make all the things almost alike, such as four small paper squares, four medium-sized paper squares, and four large paper squares. Remember: Play this and any game only as long as it's fun for your child and for you.

PRETEND YOU ARE

Help your child use her body and her imagination.

How to play
Ask your child to imitate familiar things like a flower, a tree, a train, a dog, a boat, Daddy driving a car. Take turns being the flower, the tree, and so on.

FIRST NUMBERS

Help your child learn the difference between one and two.

How to play
Play a special game with your child, showing her groups of things that have one, two, three or more in them. You can use small toys, books, paper cups, flowers, milk caps, or other small, safe things for this game. Encourage her to pick out the group that is one. Put two objects together, and ask her how many. Put one object out, and ask her how many. Then let her ask you.

Playing make-believe Imagination is a wonderful thing. We can help our children develop it. Children love to pretend they are someone important and powerful, like a super hero, doctor, teacher or parent. An imaginary friend can be a special kind of companion. This is a good, healthy part of growing up. It helps children practice for the future. It gives them pleasure and comfort. Dr. Burton White found in his studies that well-developed young children often pretended they were someone else -- usually an adult. He also found that most of these children had received a lot of encouragement from their parents to do fantasy play. Join your child in fantasy play. You will make this important play even more special for your toddler, and encourage her creativity.

Reproduced with the permission of CCSS National Network for Childcare

29 & 30 Months