Yelling May Hurt More Than Ears |
Can you raise a child without yelling?
There are plenty of reasons to yell: Kids don’t listen; yelling gets results; they push our buttons; we’re stressed and overwhelmed.
But one Toronto psychologist says we need to find ways not to yell at our kids.
Yelling damages kids, threatens the bond between them and us, and teaches kids nothing, says Sarah Chana Radcliffe.
The author of Raise Your Kids Without Raising Your Voice ought to know what she’s talking about.
She’s not only a psychologist who deals with families and mental health, she’s also a mother to six kids.
“When we are the yellers, we think we are expressing the frustration we feel,” she said.
“When we are the yellee, we feel abused. It is overwhelming for and intimidating to the child, and it conveys the message that the child is worthless.”
Under the age of 10, kids don’t fight back. You yell your throat dry and you don’t know the damage you’re doing.
Aside from scaring kids into submission, yelling teaches the child nothing useful in terms of quality relationship-building.
Parents who use desperate measures such as yelling when they are stressed are only programming their kids to do the same.
But yes, even Chana Radcliffe has lost it on occasion, but one thing she doesn’t expect of parents is perfection.
Chana Radcliffe suggests approaches such as accentuating the positive to eliminate the negative.
