Contributors

Hope Forrest is the mother of two and wife of one, and somehow still manages to write a weekly humor column from her home in Small Town, Alberta.

On a fateful hot summer day, Hope, while folding the three-thousand, four-hundred and fifteenth laundry load of her housewife career, decided something had to change - and she didn't mean her bed sheets. With fear and trepidation she approached her husband's desktop computer, feather duster and antiseptic in hand.

Years of frustration and pent up emotion came to life in a therapeutic column called, "Mum's the Word." Not only did she find herself in the words that flowed, she also found a weapon to threaten her family with. "Pick up your dirty underwear or you'll read about it in the paper!"

Hope's family has come to terms with her airing their dirty laundry - after all, it's not like she ever gets around to washing it! In case you haven't met them, here is a brief introduction to the people who keep her one brick shy of a load.

Her husband, Sherwood, (nicknamed Woody) has put up with her culinary disasters since 1989. While sympathetic to her many needs, Woody has his own problems trying to deal with being out numbered three to one in his own home. He copes by escaping to the standing room only bus he drives where he can enjoy the serenity of rush hour.

Lorraine is the oldest of Hope's two girls. She is seven going on twenty-one. A choleric personality gives her the delusion that she is in charge of the house. While Hope struggles to maintain control, she often wonders why she doesn't just pass on the reigns of motherhood to 'Rain. The only thing that stops her is the desire to be a grandmother some day - giving the child a true taste of motherhood so early would kill any maternal yearnings for life.

Ashley, the youngest and definitely the last, is three. Ask her what she wants to be someday and she will tell you she wants to grow up to be a baby. Somehow Hope thinks that Ash has a better grip on reality than the rest of them. A sanguine (fun-loving) child, Ash's only concern is figuring out how to get her next chocolate fix - she is her mother's child.

Hope's hobbies include: vacuuming up Barbie shoes, bimonthly dusting, defrosting, microwaving, and playing "spot the whiskies" in the mirror.

Her daughter 'Rain often asks her what she hopes to achieve when she is rich and famous.

Hope's reply? Rest, lots and lots of rest. It's all she can hope for.
Comments? Hope would love to hear from you! E-mail: hope@hopeforrest.com